Showing results by author "Simon Carr" in All Categories

At this extraordinary national moment, with the country in lockdown, Audible teams up with some of our country's biggest stars, as they invite you in to their own homes for some uplifting chat.

The locals of The Bull’s Head meet an odd salesman after hours. The future of the entire planet hangs in the balance. Everything depends on them and their ever-dwindling grasp on sobriety.

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

Well, that was sudden! Shamus turns on the television to discover that the planet has been invaded. Drew, Sabastian, and Mary, along with Shamus and an alien visitor, Teak, are all that survived the swift apocalypse.

Oddly, it turned out the only people who could survive a zombie apocalypse are spice zombies. A squad of spice zombies must use their immunity to the pandemic that's turning everyone into real zombies to save the last of humanity. Will the lowest of society forgive the way they have been treated to save the people who look down on them, or will they just get smashed on the free drugs and booze?

The seas belong to Cy and his crew. Since they left Olympus Island everything has been just peachy. Their blissful existence upon the waves was not to last. Poseidon, sore from being banished from Olympus Island, thirsts for revenge. Finding the unbeatable Toad-man army, Poseidon sets in motion plans for his vengeance against Cy and his crew. Buckles getting swashed, magic, fantasy, and other cool stuff awaits you in the tale of when One-Eyed Cy fought the Toad-Man army.

Dear God a zombie bit Myffaine! All merry hell breaks loose and life as we know it is in danger of being snuffed out from the planet on what is otherwise not too bad of a Tuesday. Barry and Myffanie have to negotiate a Zombie apocalypse in an effort to save the market value of the house they bought in Ptthwit five years ago. An accident in a nearby cosmetics laboratory has unleashed a zombie horde onto the village, one that may take over the entire planet if they don't stop it, or worse completely wipe out the extra value Barry's Garage extension put onto their property.

For a millennia, they sat waiting, traveling through the dark, empty, cold vacuum of space, plotting our demise. Every continuity was planned in detail. They were ready to wipe out our armies, crush any resistance, and sweep aside any warriors. Mankind’s fate was sealed. It was only ever just a matter of time. What they had not planned for - what they are not ready for - is Karen! Any likeness between Karen and any real persons alive or dead is purely inevitable.

This queen was never a princess. Rejected as a child, Rangalan found family, friends and a home with the goblin folk of the mountains. Now hunted by the man who first rejected her, Rangalan's father, King Longhorn, there's nothing Rangalan will not do to protect her friends. That all sounds very serious. It's not. It’s actually all rather silly, utter nonsense if you ask me. Listen to it if you must, but don’t say I did not warn you.

If you think life is a game, wait until you play death! Chris and Steve were quite happy sitting in their rooms playing online games until events in a kabab shop changed everything and reset all of the rules. A deal with the Grim Reaper could give them both a second chance at life if they can play the game of their lives inside some of the games they have only ever seen through a screen, until now. Luckily, they are not alone; friends they had not met, or maybe they had, help the new guys - the Noobs!

We are back with all this business, so we are. You would think the church would be more careful with them doomsday books after what happened at Bishops Point, but it’s happened again, so it has. This time things are very grim. Santa himself and his whole operation up there in Lapland have been taken over by the Dark Lord.

Dracula looks on in horror at the monster's duck pouting on Instagram: teen vampires glistening in the sun with fabulous hair, werewolves with hipster beards.... He decides enough is enough. He will salvage the monster image with the monsters of old, and remind the world that they are so much more than fantasy objects for teenage girls.

Since mankind first climbed down from the trees, we have looked out to the stars. We looked outward, wondering what secrets to our existence are out there. Professor John Spanks is about to discover the biggest secret the universe has. John has his world turned upside down when he discovers that all this time, we were looking the wrong way!

Just because something is a conspiracy, that doesn't mean it is not true. Imagine if conspiracies were true: Not that weird, you might think. Now, imagine if all of them were true. That is the world into which Jim has just been thrust. Nothing is true, and everything is just plain weird.

Bob's day is off to a bad start. He is abducted by alien blobs and is put into a zoo, while the rest of humanity is being taken to be slaughtered and turned into burgers. He has had better Thursdays. Bob's handler Fred befriends Bob, and the two of them try to change the legal status of humans from food to intelligent life so that the slaughter ship can be stopped and everyone returned to Earth.

The birth of the legend! War is brewing and the galaxy's only space sheriff and his robot companion will not be enough to contain it. An awesome hero saving the day with dumb luck and unlikely coincidences can only get you so far. But when epic battles loom, epic friends are required.

There was always one point, one moment in all of reality where everything that was will fight for everything that might be. It’s this point. Well, several points, but all happening at the same time, but not the same time. It’s super complicated. Some question whether it really happened at all, or will happen.

Bruce thinks he is helping mankind and playing his part in saving the planet when he develops his serum for speeding up the development of lab-grown cultured meat. What Bruce has actually done is send us to the bottom of the food chain. Well, not all the way to the bottom. We are still above ducks. Nobody gets eaten by a duck.

The force is on a break! One of the greatest sci-fi stories ever told has been told by the heroes, it’s been told by the villains, but it has never been told by the people who were there but did not really care, because they just worked there, until now!

The immensely experienced Steven Pacey narrates The Exhausting Summer of São Martino by Simon Carr. Set in a provincial town far removed from the modern world, the story follows the mayor, Prospero, as he navigates the politics of rural life - and his own affairs of the heart.