In this episode, Wendy is joined by Matt Hussey a journalist and a psychotherapist in private practice, podcaster and author. Matt and Wendy discuss how simply assigning a label to someone or their condition confines who they think they are and can disengage them from their recovery, the way labelling impacts how society functions, and why therapists need to challenge the way mental health conditions are defined.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• When you give someone a label their perception of who they are and what they can do changes, as does that of those around them.
• People rarely fully meet the criteria of the label they are given.
• Sometimes a language or term emerges in a culture that ends up changing society. Matt explains how this happened with anorexia.
• Mental health professionals need to test the data and be way more challenging.
• The original purpose of DSM was to try to standardize understanding, rather than be a prescriptive label that channelled people into certain types of care.
• Naturally occurring feelings that protect and heal us have been demonised e.g. grief, loss and anxiety.
• When you acknowledge difficult emotions as part of the human condition, you stop seeing yourself as defective.
• It is vital to understand how your perspective is impacting the way you treat patients.
• Be aware of power dynamics.

BEST MOMENTS

“When you label a person, there is an exchange that happens between that person and their label.”

“The single biggest indicator of whether a child exhibited symptoms of ADHD was the month they were born.”

“Anxiety is protective in its function, but we've demonized it, it´s now universally terrible.”

“The biggest inhibitor to recovery is that judgment of your own sense of self.”

“Using the language they use back to them can be powerful.”

“These are all clues to help shape how you might work together.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Matt is a journalist and therapist living in London. He has his own private practice as well as a newsletter and podcast talking about mental health.

You can subscribe to his newsletter by going to www.thebrink.me or his podcast, The Brink, which can be found on Spotify and Apple podcast platforms.

He is also available at :

https://www.therapywithmatt.uk

https://www.thebrink.me/author/matt/page/4/

https://www.instagram.com/hhusseyy

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Andy Baker, an amazing person that does amazing things. He is a behavioural specialist with 19+ years’ experience, author, public speaker, trainer, educator, business mentor, parenting mentor, podcast host and more. Over the years he has worked with children, adults, people with learning disabilities and does a lot of work in the dementia field.

Working across so many different demographics and health issues made Andy realise that there was a common thread running through all of it. This inspired him to develop a six-stage framework that could be used to tackle bad behaviour in an empathetic way that is highly effective at helping the person who is being cared for to change that behaviour.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Every type of carer finds dealing with behaviour that challenges e.g. aggression, stressful.
• Every patient is different, a complex person in their own right, so you have to get to know each one.
• Before you can help a person to change and correct negative behaviour you have to understand and connect with them.
• You build trust through genuinely caring.
• Look for patterns e.g. physical discomfort or emotional anniversaries to help you understand what triggers a behaviour.
• Changing your own behaviour leads to others interacting with you differently. If you respond with anger you will get anger back.
• Recognising when you are getting angry and being able to calm yourself is key.
• Parents who can self-regulate do better.
• Constantly telling someone off about their behaviour is not effective. You also need to be clear about the behaviour you actually want.
• Put in place some sort of measurement so you can see the progress.
• Fully connecting with your child for just 10 minutes a day has a highly positive impact.
• The language you use matters, stop labelling it does a lot of damage.

BEST MOMENT

“Connection before correction.”

“I'm unlikely to be able to change somebody else's behaviour if they don't trust me.”

“Reflect back on the good times, not just the bad.”

“The more you talk about a child's negative behaviour, the more you'll notice it.”

“One of the biggest challenges, or causes of challenging behaviour, is a breakdown in communication.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Andy Baker´s Book - https://hub.able-training.co.uk/product/targeting-the-positive-with-behaviours-that-challenge/

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Michelle Hoffman, a Stanford University social scientist and best-selling author. Today, she and Wendy discuss her journey from enjoying a fulfilling life with her husband to becoming a single parent when he sadly died.

Michelle shares several of the strategies she used to enable herself and her children to cope with grief, such as inviting emotions in, putting in place a strong support network and building new memories. Her book, "Life Worth Living," offers practical guidance for widows and single parents, but its lessons are applicable to anyone facing significant loss.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Instead of burying her emotions, Michelle invited them in and used them as guideposts.
• Sit down and list out what you need and who can help you with each item. This helps you to see that you are not alone.
• Create and maintain a support network of people for your children as well as for yourself. Michelle did this, in part, by ensuring her children engaged with other adults through activities.
• Michelle shares simple techniques that have enabled her to help her children process their emotions.
• Be honest with your children.
• Michelle shares how she kept her children´s father alive for them and created new memories.
• No matter how low you feel, someone can benefit from what you have to share with them.

BEST MOMENTS

“I would invite each emotion in.”

“I had accountability partners to help make sure I showed up.”

“There is no getting over love lost, there just isn't. However, we're still alive and we need to find our path.”

“If I were to describe my life and the love I've shared, it is different, and it is beautiful in a whole new way, even through grief.”

“They (Michelle’s children) created their own support team as well.”

EPISODE RESOURCES

Mad/Sad/Glad exercise - https://creativetherapies.net/the-solution-focused-sad-mad-glad-talk

ABOUT THE GUEST

Michelle Hoffmann, Visionary Relationship Catalyst and founder of The Art of Relationshipping, empowers individuals and organizations to build authentic connections. Drawing from her journey through widowhood, single parenthood, and 30+ years of expertise, her transformative insights inspire impactful relationships in love, life, and career. Life is better with good love in it.

Life Worth Living book - http://tiny.cc/rw57001

https://theartofrelationshipping.com

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Ousha Demello, a former business lecturer with over 15 years in education, who transformed her life through entrepreneurship. Doing so after suffering in a marriage where emotional abuse and mental torture from her husband and his family was a daily occurrence.

Ousha explains how ignoring her gut feelings led to her bad marriage and how she freed herself, moved forward and thrived. She shares a powerful exercise anyone can do if they find themselves in a similar situation.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The 1st step is to recognise your reality and make a decision to change that reality.
• Don´t wait for someone to come and rescue you, instead make the change.
• Changing your situation can be painful. But remember that pain is only temporary.
• Turn your pain into power.
• Stop looking back, let go of your anger, don´t seek revenge, just move forward.
• To be happy, know your core values and live according to them.
• Understand what you want and move swiftly.
• Speak about what happened to you in a positive way e.g. How you overcame things.
• Learn to use failure to grow.

BEST MOMENTS

“Pain is temporary, nothing is lost in this world.”

“I acknowledged that I needed help and things were not right.”

“It's really important that you speak to the right people.”

“I chose peace over revenge.”

“You will shine brighter on the other side.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Ousha Demello, a former business lecturer with over 15 years in education, transformed her life through entrepreneurship. Now an inspirational business trainer, international speaker, No. 1 bestselling author, and multiple business award winner, she helps individuals turn their skills and wisdom into content, businesses, and books. Drawing from her personal journey of overcoming pain and adversity, Ousha inspires others to find their voice, share their stories, and create impact-driven lives. As the author of Left in Peace Not Pieces, she empowers clients to turn their knowledge into income and achieve their full potential.

Ousha Demello Links

Email: success@theupliftacademy.com or success@ousha.co.uk

Website: www.ousha.co.uk

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/oushademello

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OushaK

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/oushademello

Book: https://mybook.to/LeftinPeaceNotPieces

Book a Free Strategy Call: https://calendly.com/ousha/15min

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by clinical psychologist, author, trainer and researcher Dr Chris Irons, who helps people find new ways to understand and tackle their distress. Dr Irons is a big advocate of Compassion Focus Therapy (CFT).

He outlines what CFT is, why it is so effective and how to use it.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• CFT helps people who have not found success with other treatments. Often, it's because of self-hatred and shame.
• Anger and self-loathing dilute positivity.
• To heal, people need a warm, empathetic inner voice.
• Be kind and supportive towards yourself as you are to others.
• Emotions signal to us something important but they need to be in balance.
• The app Chris has developed explains why you feel as you do step-by-step and provides exercises to practice what you have learned.

BEST MOMENTS

“Clients who start therapy with higher levels of self-criticism do worse.”

“Compassion can be an antidote to shame and self-criticism, but you have to practice it.”

“Emotions evolved for a purpose.”

RESOURCES

www.balancedminds.com

www.drchrisirons.com

ABOUT THE GUEST

Dr Chris Irons is a clinical psychologist, researcher, writer and trainer specialising in Compassion Focused Therapy. He is co-director of Balanced Minds (www.balancedminds.com), an organisation providing compassion-focused psychological interventions, supervision and training.

For 25 years, Chris has worked with Professor Paul Gilbert and other colleagues on the research and clinical developments of CFT. He was involved in some of the initial research papers and book chapters on CFT (Gilbert & Irons, 2004, 2005), and has published many articles and book chapters on compassion, attachment, shame and self-criticism. He has authored five books, including ‘The Compassionate Mind Workbook’ (with Dr Elaine Beaumont) and ‘CFT from the Inside Out’ (with Russell Kolts, James Bennett-Levy and Tobyn Bell), and ‘The Compassionate Mind Approach for Difficult Emotions’. Alongside Elaine Beaumont, he recently released the first CFT inspired app, called ‘The Self Compassion App’.

Chris regularly provides CFT teaching, training, workshops and retreats across the world. He is an experienced clinician. He has recently been leading on the development of compassion-based approaches for the general public, and on integrating these approaches in organisations.

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

Today, Wendy is joined by clinical psychologist Dr Natalie Stott. Her main clients are doctors, nurses, physios and those who care for others. She is EMDR trained but mainly uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help her clients deal with work related stress, burnout, perfectionism and a range of other issues.

Dr Stott explains how ACT works. Including providing an in-depth example of how it can be used to enable people to better tolerate uncertainty. She also shares a simple exercise that anyone can start using immediately.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

· ACT helps you to become psychologically flexible. Be more accepting of your thoughts and be less prone to autopilot reactions.

· Humans have a compulsion to seek out things that are permanent and safe.

· Life is full of uncertainty, so trying to avoid it is fruitless.

· Accepting that uncertainty is normal and equipping yourself to handle it better is liberating.

· Overthinking, distraction or procrastination are common reactions when we face uncertainty.

· Some things in life can´t be changed, but how you engage can.

· Many of us have lost touch with our values, with who we are.

BEST MOMENTS

“Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is about learning a different way of relating to your thoughts and feelings.”

“It's those behaviours that we do on autopilot … that get us stuck.”

“Values are behaviours.”

“ You can't be more family, you can't be more friend, but what you can do is be more authentic.”

“Mind your buts.”

EPISODE RESOURCES

Values episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/act-values/id1747917644?i=1000657095418

The Choice Point - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV15x8LvwAQ

ABOUT THE GUEST

Dr Natalie Stott is a clinical psychologist who runs her own private practice. She specialises in helping high achievers cope with burnout, anxiety, perfectionism, and imposter experience. Natalie previously worked with NHS staff as part of a psychology team, where she was involved in delivering team interventions and conducting workshops and a large portion of her private work involves support doctors therapeutically or to overcome anxieties related to their exams. In addition to her professional work, she is a mother of two and hosts a podcast called mastering therapy for fellow psychologists to improve their therapy skills.

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

Today, Wendy is joined by Dr Monika Wieliczko, a licensed clinical psychologist who specialises in grief, trauma and loss. She shares how losing her husband to bowel cancer inspired her to create the "Grief MOT," a first aid course for grief, to help individuals understand their grieving journey and found the online therapeutic community - A Guide to After Life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Grief affects cognitive, emotional and physiological functions, as well as relationships and your perception of the world.

• There are differences between grief, loss, and bereavement.

• Grief is a process, but, it does not have to be torturous.

• Therapy allows individuals to fully express their feelings without burdening friends and not fall fowl of avoidance behaviours like substance abuse.

• Grieving people alternate between thinking about the loss and engaging in daily life.

• People often feel guilty or overwhelmed when engaging in activities after a loss.

• Take breaks from your grief to allow your brain to process the loss.

• Grief can become complex due to trauma, previous loss and guilt. If this is not addressed people become stuck in grief.

• Seek out a therapist who specializes in grief.

BEST MOMENTS

“Grief is a very complicated, very multi-faceted process.”

“Grief is much more than just talking therapy. It’s the whole range of things we can do.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Dr Monika Wieliczko - Chartered Clinical Psychologist D.Clin.Psych, MSc, MA, is dedicated to helping people rebuild their lives after loss. After losing her husband to bowel cancer in 2022, Monika left her NHS role to focus on providing effective support for those dealing with traumatic loss. Helping them to build resilience despite their grief. She founded A Guide to After Life, a therapeutic community offering grief therapy and resources, including the Grief MOT program. Monika is also developing an online grief course, writing a memoir, and planning therapy retreats in Southeast Asia.

She also serves as a visiting lecturer at The Institute of Psychiatry London and has extensive experience with charitable organizations and the NHS. Her therapeutic approaches include psychodynamic therapy, EMDR and MBT.

https://www.instagram.com/guide_to_afterlife

https://www.facebook.com/guidetoafterlife

https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/the-grief-mot

https://www.guidetoafterlife.com/podcasts/a-guide-to-after-life

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Jess White the amazing entrepreneur behind Yogi Tribe and the Spark Business Network. Jess has been practising yoga for 25 years and teaching it for 10.

She also works to bring a yoga spirit to business. Jess runs Spark networking events that bring business owners and would-be entrepreneurs together from diverse backgrounds and industries to spark ideas, inspiration, partnerships and more. They are known locally as the High Vibe Tribe. To achieve this, Jess encourages everyone to tap into the power of using yoga principles in all aspects of life, including protecting their mental health.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• There are many forms of yoga, so it is for everyone, regardless of age, shape or size.

• Yoga was initially developed to help you prepare for meditation, which is one reason it is so good for mental health.

• Yoga is especially beneficial for neurodiverse children and adults.

• Movement is medicine, you can feel yoga healing you as it releases tension and balances your body.

• Yoga makes you much more aware of your body, which improves confidence and focuses you on what you put into your body.

• The Spark community supports and inspires each other e.g. by sharing their goals for the week every Monday, to hold themselves to account.

• At the end of the week, the Spark community shares what they are grateful for. Gratitude is very powerful.

• Try Yin Yoga if you have problems sleeping. Other forms are particularly good for pain relief.

BEST MOMENTS

“I believe that yoga is for everybody, and I also niche in children's yoga.”

“Spark brings a diverse group of business owners together to inspire each other, to network, spark ideas, partnerships, collaborations and learnings.”

“I felt this sense of healing, and I thought, how on earth can just holding your body in some poses do this?”

“Everybody comes to yoga for a different reason.”

“It's an integrative approach, depending on who I've got in front of me.”

“So much can be done via meditation.”

“There's lots of different avenues into learning how to meditate.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

https://sparkbusinessnetworking.co.uk

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-networking-spark

http://budokon.com

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatha_yoga

https://www.yoganatomy.com/ashtanga-yoga

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_Yoga

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.