In this episode, Wendy is joined by Matt Hussey a journalist and a psychotherapist in private practice, podcaster and author. Matt and Wendy discuss how simply assigning a label to someone or their condition confines who they think they are and can disengage them from their recovery, the way labelling impacts how society functions, and why therapists need to challenge the way mental health conditions are defined.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• When you give someone a label their perception of who they are and what they can do changes, as does that of those around them.
• People rarely fully meet the criteria of the label they are given.
• Sometimes a language or term emerges in a culture that ends up changing society. Matt explains how this happened with anorexia.
• Mental health professionals need to test the data and be way more challenging.
• The original purpose of DSM was to try to standardize understanding, rather than be a prescriptive label that channelled people into certain types of care.
• Naturally occurring feelings that protect and heal us have been demonised e.g. grief, loss and anxiety.
• When you acknowledge difficult emotions as part of the human condition, you stop seeing yourself as defective.
• It is vital to understand how your perspective is impacting the way you treat patients.
• Be aware of power dynamics.

BEST MOMENTS

“When you label a person, there is an exchange that happens between that person and their label.”

“The single biggest indicator of whether a child exhibited symptoms of ADHD was the month they were born.”

“Anxiety is protective in its function, but we've demonized it, it´s now universally terrible.”

“The biggest inhibitor to recovery is that judgment of your own sense of self.”

“Using the language they use back to them can be powerful.”

“These are all clues to help shape how you might work together.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Matt is a journalist and therapist living in London. He has his own private practice as well as a newsletter and podcast talking about mental health.

You can subscribe to his newsletter by going to www.thebrink.me or his podcast, The Brink, which can be found on Spotify and Apple podcast platforms.

He is also available at :

https://www.therapywithmatt.uk

https://www.thebrink.me/author/matt/page/4/

https://www.instagram.com/hhusseyy

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Andy Baker, an amazing person that does amazing things. He is a behavioural specialist with 19+ years’ experience, author, public speaker, trainer, educator, business mentor, parenting mentor, podcast host and more. Over the years he has worked with children, adults, people with learning disabilities and does a lot of work in the dementia field.

Working across so many different demographics and health issues made Andy realise that there was a common thread running through all of it. This inspired him to develop a six-stage framework that could be used to tackle bad behaviour in an empathetic way that is highly effective at helping the person who is being cared for to change that behaviour.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Every type of carer finds dealing with behaviour that challenges e.g. aggression, stressful.
• Every patient is different, a complex person in their own right, so you have to get to know each one.
• Before you can help a person to change and correct negative behaviour you have to understand and connect with them.
• You build trust through genuinely caring.
• Look for patterns e.g. physical discomfort or emotional anniversaries to help you understand what triggers a behaviour.
• Changing your own behaviour leads to others interacting with you differently. If you respond with anger you will get anger back.
• Recognising when you are getting angry and being able to calm yourself is key.
• Parents who can self-regulate do better.
• Constantly telling someone off about their behaviour is not effective. You also need to be clear about the behaviour you actually want.
• Put in place some sort of measurement so you can see the progress.
• Fully connecting with your child for just 10 minutes a day has a highly positive impact.
• The language you use matters, stop labelling it does a lot of damage.

BEST MOMENT

“Connection before correction.”

“I'm unlikely to be able to change somebody else's behaviour if they don't trust me.”

“Reflect back on the good times, not just the bad.”

“The more you talk about a child's negative behaviour, the more you'll notice it.”

“One of the biggest challenges, or causes of challenging behaviour, is a breakdown in communication.”

ABOUT THE GUEST

Andy Baker´s Book - https://hub.able-training.co.uk/product/targeting-the-positive-with-behaviours-that-challenge/

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.

In this episode, Wendy is joined by Michelle Hoffman, a Stanford University social scientist and best-selling author. Today, she and Wendy discuss her journey from enjoying a fulfilling life with her husband to becoming a single parent when he sadly died.

Michelle shares several of the strategies she used to enable herself and her children to cope with grief, such as inviting emotions in, putting in place a strong support network and building new memories. Her book, "Life Worth Living," offers practical guidance for widows and single parents, but its lessons are applicable to anyone facing significant loss.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Instead of burying her emotions, Michelle invited them in and used them as guideposts.
• Sit down and list out what you need and who can help you with each item. This helps you to see that you are not alone.
• Create and maintain a support network of people for your children as well as for yourself. Michelle did this, in part, by ensuring her children engaged with other adults through activities.
• Michelle shares simple techniques that have enabled her to help her children process their emotions.
• Be honest with your children.
• Michelle shares how she kept her children´s father alive for them and created new memories.
• No matter how low you feel, someone can benefit from what you have to share with them.

BEST MOMENTS

“I would invite each emotion in.”

“I had accountability partners to help make sure I showed up.”

“There is no getting over love lost, there just isn't. However, we're still alive and we need to find our path.”

“If I were to describe my life and the love I've shared, it is different, and it is beautiful in a whole new way, even through grief.”

“They (Michelle’s children) created their own support team as well.”

EPISODE RESOURCES

Mad/Sad/Glad exercise - https://creativetherapies.net/the-solution-focused-sad-mad-glad-talk

ABOUT THE GUEST

Michelle Hoffmann, Visionary Relationship Catalyst and founder of The Art of Relationshipping, empowers individuals and organizations to build authentic connections. Drawing from her journey through widowhood, single parenthood, and 30+ years of expertise, her transformative insights inspire impactful relationships in love, life, and career. Life is better with good love in it.

Life Worth Living book - http://tiny.cc/rw57001

https://theartofrelationshipping.com

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.wendycastelino.com

https://www.instagram.com/wendycastelino/

https://www.youtube.com/@wendycastelino798

https://twitter.com/WendyCastelino

ABOUT THE HOST

Wendy Castelino has been working as a psychotherapist for over thirty-five years. As an accredited CBT and EMDR practitioner, she is committed to upholding the rigorous standards required for these accreditations and helping thousands of people reach their full potential.

Wendy currently runs a private practice where her focus is on CBT. Therapy is constantly evolving into developing new techniques, so she studies hard to integrate them into her therapy, to provide a rich and effective experience.

Wendy is aware that working in one-to-one therapy limits the number of people she can see. She has, therefore, created a range of online resources. These resources are designed to be easy to follow and provide clear, step-by-step instructions. This can help the individual to master skills and gain confidence, therefore optimising the therapy sessions. They are also suitable to be used on their own.

Further details are available at: WendyCastelino.com.