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Until I Kill You

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Until I Kill You

By: Delia Balmer
Narrated by: Florence Howard
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

When Delia Balmer entered into a relationship with the attentive John Sweeney, she had no idea he was a serial killer.

At first he was caring but over the course of their relationship he became violent and controlling. On more than one occasion he held Delia hostage and tortured her. Chillingly, he also confessed to the murder of his previous girlfriend. After one serious assault, Sweeney was released on bail, and left her in the utmost fear knowing that he would return to finish her off. After a final frenzied attack leaving Delia on the brink of death, Sweeney went on the run. Astonishingly, it would take the police six years to capture and convict Sweeney of multiple murders.

This is her compelling memoir.

©2017 Delia Balmer (P)2024 Penguin Audio
Murder
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What listeners say about Until I Kill You

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Narrated beautifully

Great, but extremely sad and compelling story of an exceptionally brave lady. Incredible survival techniques let down by the law. Great read.

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wow

Delia, what an inspiration you are! I am so sorry you went though (and are still going through) what you did. A fantastically writing memoir.

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Amazing Tragic and Compelling

I was totally drawn into this tragic story from beginning to end. Excellently put over, Excellently written

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Wow

Oh wow, so many failings by the police, nothing has changed with them.
I was shouting at loud most parts of this story, having been through domestic violence and been left with a host of mental health issues it’s heart wrenching listening to others, back in the 90’s unless you were half alive the police did not want to know, I applaud this lady, her bravery should spurn women on.
Ladies 1 red flag is your indicator to run and not turn back, you are so much better than being someone’s punchbag, run and do it for you xx

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Powerful, emotional, a fascinating listen

This book is one of the most powerful and thought provoking books I have read. Thankfully I have not had much experience with the police or justice system, negatively or otherwise, but I would like to think that they are more helpful and supportive thirty years on, may god help us if not. Delia describes her experience and ordeal in such an eloquent way that I find it hard to understand why she got so little support and understanding for so long. I hope now she has got her story out there in her own words, she is able to get some peace from her mental anguish.

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Unbearably sad but extraordinary and brave account of atrocious abuse.

I just want to thank the writer for her fortitude in sharing the horror of what she lived through.
Not least in exposing the scandalous lack of support from the system which effectively led her to suffer the deepest trauma and abuse.
Her writing skills, psychological awareness and the fact that many women sadly can relate to levels of abuse that go unnoticed for so long make this book essential reading.
Thank you Delia for sharing this.
I can’t imagine where you found the strength to do so but you did. Brava.
I pray that you continue to grow and flourish in that strength and find joy again in the amazing person you are and the life you now have.

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Good read

it was horrific what she went through and was so let down by the justice system. I hope she finds some sort of peace.

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Riveting!

All I kept thinking was poor Delia! You could absolutely feel how this psychopath destroyed her whole sense of herself. What a brave lady, so unbelievable the police’s early response to her cries for help, this made me so angry! I only hope things are different now.

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unbelievable. fantastic.

so could not stop listening. fabulous read. unbelievable yet it did happen. such a brave .wondeful strong woman.

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I Have To Be Honest

As a Domestic Violence Survivor, and one who has helped others, I've heard and read a lot of accounts and spoken to many victim/ survivors. There are very good books out there, inspiring, frank, self aware, raw and touching; this is none of those things.
This was probably made into a series because of the terrible violence that occurred and the fact that the lead actress is superb is a huge draw.
I am sorry to say that increasingly through this book, I became more and more frustrated and disillusioned with the author's obstinate, negative, unsympathetic view on the world, insistently blaming the police for the worst attack perpetrated by the offender despite describing reporting her DV twice, but disengaging when they tried to make her safe.
You will hear constantly through the book how the suspects actions are the fault of the courts and the police, she does not seem to place full responsibility on him for perpetrating violence against her and finds fault with anyone trying to help her or take action against him.
It's highly possible this book was written while she was still very, very traumatised by the persistent and horrific violence, abuse and control she endured for so long and it would be silly to expect someone to interact normally with the world around them after that, but I had to constantly work at generating empathy and understanding for her from my own experience of nearly being killed after years of coercive control and violence just to finish the book and found it very hard work.
I commend Delia for sharing her story and I hope for her that she is able to reach peace and as much happiness as she needs, however long the journey takes.

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