

You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Lobotomy: A Brutally Honest Guide to Fixing Your Pathetic Existence
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You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Lobotomy: A Brutally Honest Guide to Fixing Your Pathetic Existence
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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This book won't change your life—because you're the only one who can do that, and let's be honest, you probably won't. But it will make you laugh, cringe in recognition, and maybe—just maybe—inspire you to stop blaming the universe for your problems and start making actual changes.
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You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Lobotomy: A Brutally Honest Guide to Fixing Your Pathetic Existence
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Release date: 29-05-25
- Language: English
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£6.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)
- A Guide to Making Decisions, Then Changing Your Mind 47 Times (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along.
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Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)
- A Guide to Making Decisions, Then Changing Your Mind 47 Times (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15
- Length: 54 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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So, You Want to Date a TikTok Influencer? (Hope You Like Ring Lights and Emotional Damage)
- A Survival Guide to Loving Someone Who Is Always Filming, and ... Fully Present (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Kat Mackay
- Length: 59 mins
- Unabridged
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You thought dating was hard before? Try dating someone who live-streams their coffee order, documents every minor inconvenience for engagement, and will 100% use your relationship as content.
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So, You Want to Date a TikTok Influencer? (Hope You Like Ring Lights and Emotional Damage)
- A Survival Guide to Loving Someone Who Is Always Filming, and ... Fully Present (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14)
- Narrated by: Kat Mackay
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14
- Length: 59 mins
- Release date: 10-07-25
- Language: English
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£5.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Dead Inside, But Functional
- A Guide to Barely Existing Without Losing Your Mind (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do.
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Dead Inside, But Functional
- A Guide to Barely Existing Without Losing Your Mind (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1
- Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
- Release date: 10-07-25
- Language: English
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£6.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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So You Want to Date a Tech Bro?
- A Survival Guide to Red Flags, Startups, and Endless Talks About Crypto (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You’ve matched with a Tech Bro. Maybe he built a “disruptive” app that nobody asked for. Maybe he describes himself as an “entrepreneur” but lives with four roommates. Maybe he just pitched you a startup idea during your first date.
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So You Want to Date a Tech Bro?
- A Survival Guide to Red Flags, Startups, and Endless Talks About Crypto (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Release date: 08-07-25
- Language: English
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What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)
- A Deep Dive into the Void of Uncertainty (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Ivy E Hensley
- Length: 1 hr and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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From the deeply unqualified mind behind every bad decision you’ve ever made comes "What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)," a deeply unhelpful guide to overanalyzing your entire existence, making terrible impulse purchases, and aggressively avoiding reality.
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What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)
- A Deep Dive into the Void of Uncertainty (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20)
- Narrated by: Ivy E Hensley
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20
- Length: 1 hr and 8 mins
- Release date: 08-07-25
- Language: English
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Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, in Which Case, Panic)
- A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink Breathing (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 4)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.
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Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, in Which Case, Panic)
- A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink Breathing (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 4)
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 56 mins
- Release date: 18-06-25
- Language: English
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£3.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Glen Haupt
- Length: 33 mins
- Unabridged
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation is a brutally honest, darkly hilarious exposé of every man who thought “she’s been through a lot” meant “I have a chance.”
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- Narrated by: Glen Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- Length: 33 mins
- Release date: 05-06-25
- Language: English
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I Can Fix Him
- But First Let Me Break Myself Completely: A Guide to Dating Human Dumpster Fires with Confidence (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 42 mins
- Unabridged
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I Can Fix Him (But First Let Me Break Myself Completely) is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide for every woman who has ever tried to date a human red flag and call it a healing journey.
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I Can Fix Him
- But First Let Me Break Myself Completely: A Guide to Dating Human Dumpster Fires with Confidence (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23
- Length: 42 mins
- Release date: 04-06-25
- Language: English
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How to Be a Debbie Downer
- A Guide to Finding the Worst in Everything and Making Sure Everyone Knows It (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Rebekah Amber Clark
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of people being happy around you? Do you dream of a world where no one dares to enjoy life in your presence? Congratulations! You’ve just found the ultimate guide to turning every interaction into an awkward, joyless nightmare.
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How to Be a Debbie Downer
- A Guide to Finding the Worst in Everything and Making Sure Everyone Knows It (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6)
- Narrated by: Rebekah Amber Clark
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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£6.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human
- Because Deep Thoughts Are a Liability (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 18)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale?
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Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human
- Because Deep Thoughts Are a Liability (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 18)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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£6.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
- A Guide to Faking Competence Until You Believe It (Or Get Caught) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you one minor inconvenience away from a full-blown existential crisis? Do you regularly Google how to do your own job while hoping nobody notices? Ever sat in a meeting nodding thoughtfully while having no clue what’s happening? Congratulations!
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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
- A Guide to Faking Competence Until You Believe It (Or Get Caught) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8
- Length: 1 hr and 12 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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Therapy Is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself
- How to Save Money by Just Convincing Yourself You’re Fine (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 41 mins
- Unabridged
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"Therapy is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself" is the ultimate self-help book for people who have absolutely no intention of helping themselves.
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Therapy Is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself
- How to Save Money by Just Convincing Yourself You’re Fine (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17
- Length: 41 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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£3.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed
- A Deeply Irresponsible Guide to Disappearing, Reappearing, and Making People Question Reality (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Cora Dean
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst.
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Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed
- A Deeply Irresponsible Guide to Disappearing, Reappearing, and Making People Question Reality (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5)
- Narrated by: Cora Dean
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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£6.99 or free with trial. Auto-renews at £8.99/month after trial. See eligibility.
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How to Fix Your Life (But Let’s Be Honest, You Won’t)
- A Self-Help Book for People Who Have No Intention of Changing (Ruin Your Life Now 7)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You’ve found yet another self-help book that you’ll skim through, feel briefly inspired by, and then completely ignore while continuing to make the same bad decisions.
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How to Fix Your Life (But Let’s Be Honest, You Won’t)
- A Self-Help Book for People Who Have No Intention of Changing (Ruin Your Life Now 7)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 7
- Length: 59 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)
- A Play-by-Play Breakdown of Every Conversation You’ve Ever Had (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Matthew R Weeks
- Length: 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.) Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.
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Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)
- A Play-by-Play Breakdown of Every Conversation You’ve Ever Had (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2)
- Narrated by: Matthew R Weeks
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2
- Length: 38 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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Perfectly Imperfect (But Mostly Just a Mess)
- A Flawless Guide to Overachieving, Overthinking, and Eventually Imploding (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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ATTENTION PERFECTIONISTS: If you’ve ever rewritten an email 14 times, physically cringed at a typo, or spent an hour debating whether to sign off with "Best" or "Sincerely"—this book is your personal attack.
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Perfectly Imperfect (But Mostly Just a Mess)
- A Flawless Guide to Overachieving, Overthinking, and Eventually Imploding (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12)
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12
- Length: 54 mins
- Release date: 16-05-25
- Language: English
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The Bullsh!t Artist’s Handbook - How to Dominate Conversations with Zero Expertise: A Masterclass in Talking Your Way to the Top Without Knowing a Damn Thing
- Ruin Your Life Now
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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If you’ve ever found yourself in a conversation thinking, “I have no idea what I’m talking about”—this book is your salvation.
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The Bullsh!t Artist’s Handbook - How to Dominate Conversations with Zero Expertise: A Masterclass in Talking Your Way to the Top Without Knowing a Damn Thing
- Ruin Your Life Now
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 21
- Length: 1 hr and 21 mins
- Release date: 08-04-25
- Language: English
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Ruin Your Life Now
- How to Use the Power of Affirmations to Destroy Your Life
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Packed with toxic affirmations, unnecessary rants, and advice so bad it circles back to genius, Ruin Your Life Now is like a car crash you can’t stop watching—except the car is your life and you’re the one behind the wheel, blindfolded.
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Ruin Your Life Now
- How to Use the Power of Affirmations to Destroy Your Life
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 22
- Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
- Release date: 08-04-25
- Language: English
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Maybe I'm the Problem?: How to Second-Guess Yourself into Oblivion and Still Have Time for a Nap
- Ruin Your Life Now
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of being emotionally stable? Do you wish you could turn every minor interaction into a full-blown existential crisis? Look no further than Maybe I'm the Problem? – the ultimate guide to professional self-gaslighting and strategic overthinking.
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Maybe I'm the Problem?: How to Second-Guess Yourself into Oblivion and Still Have Time for a Nap
- Ruin Your Life Now
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 11
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Release date: 07-04-25
- Language: English
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