Showing results by author "J. Snow" in All Categories

If you are in the midst of a relationship with the narcissist, you know all too well how rapidly he cycles through the different states of his personality. One minute he is the nice, charming, radiant personality. The next minute, he is a raging monster of violence. The sheer rollercoaster ride that is the narcissist is intolerable to nearly every partner that he meets.

Gaslighting is the circular conversation that you have where no one ever wins. It is the argument that never ends, because there is no resolution that is satisfactory to the narcissist, who never compromises. It is the projection of the narcissist's deficits back onto you, because he cannot take accountability for anything that he has ever said or done. It is the crazy making, the name calling, the false accusations, and the omission of the truth.

Silent treatment is one of the most devastating acts from a narcissist when his or her lover is falling in love with them. The narcissist uses this tactic to create a conflict of "supply and demand". The narcissist love bombs and supplies his lovers for a time period until he has no more to give or until he gets bored with his partner. Then he pushes the partner away and returns to fulfill his own desires while the partner is away.

Many people come across bullies in their lifetime. They might be bullied at work. There might have been bullies when they grew up in school. They might have encountered a neighborhood bully. They might have been bullied by a teacher, a coach, or another type of mentor. Some people might have experienced bullying from a judge, a police officer, or another authority figure. People who join the military often come across bullies who are drill sergeants, and they take pride in bullying people as their career. People experience bullies as parents and relatives.

Many people don't realize it, but they have been abused and narcissistically injured, or wounded, throughout much of their lives. They have been around narcissistic or self-centered bosses, coworkers, parents, family members, children, teachers, coaches, and more. They may have been surrounded by people with OCPD, Asperger's Syndrome, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Autism Spectrum Disorders, and they may not even have recognized it.

Most people know that the narcissist is nearly always a cheat. He is constantly grooming more and more narcissistic supply (love, adoration, fear, admiration) from those who are willing to bless him with it. He collects friends on Facebook and at work - friends who can serve as alternate partners. He even tests the waters with long-term friends from childhood, despite being sexually unattracted to them for all intents and purposes.

The narcissist's partner must prove herself over and over again, but she is never proving herself for anything real. The narcissist always has an out planned, so that it is available to him if ever he wants to leave the relationship. He doesn't get too attached to his partner in case he wants to leave her. If the narcissist catches wind that she might be planning to leave him first, he will initiate a breakup to preempt her. After all, he doesn’t want it to look like he was the one discarded. He wants to make it look like he was the one who discarded her.

Many of us have met a person who suffers from caveman syndrome at one point in our lives. It may be the plumber, a teacher, your husband, or your boss at work. The person is often critical, grumpy, and rude toward others. The caveman is short-sighted and stuck in the past. He is a stick in the mud of epic proportions. He is chronically unhappy, and he strives to make everyone else in the world just as unhappy as he is.

Many of my listeners contact me with a burning question: How do I capture the attentions and affections of the schizoid man that I have my eye on? They have tried all of the socially acceptable dating and marriage techniques to no avail. Schizoid men simply don't operate by the same socialization rules as everyone else, and thus one must alter their tactics if they are trying to date or marry a man with schizoid personality disorder.

Many people have OCPD partners, parents, friends, bosses, or other loved ones in their lives. They struggle with the OCPD people's rigidity, negativism, and critical nature. The OCPD people struggle to meet the expectations of others, shackled by their own perfectionism. The OCPD person is a slave to the little voice inside his or her head that was intended to guide positive behaviors long ago. This little voice is now stopping the OCPD person from realizing any type of freedom or joy in life.

A narcissistic relationship drastically affects the wellbeing of both the narcissist and his partner. The partner of a narcissist often suffers from trauma bonding (Stockholm syndrome), Cassandra Syndrome, Wendy Complex, or Complex PTSD. They suffer from these disorders throughout the relationship, as well as after the relationship ends. Some people expect almost immediately relief after the narcissist moves on from the relationship, but this is often not the case.

The narcissist cannot help but be a negativist. Most of his life was taken away from him by someone else who was domineering, over-protective, smothering, aloof, depressed, or self-indulgent. His mother or his father didn't think to teach him much of anything. He feels deprived at being sent out in the world, completely unprepared as to how to go about much of anything. The narcissist is a negativist because he dislikes his perceived inability to control the 'play' that he is a part of.

Many of my listeners come to me with a serious predicament. They are trapped in a relationship with a narcissist. Many of them want to get out of the relationship, but they keep being pulled back into the relationship because of something called 'trauma bonding'. They feel helpless and hopeless to rid themselves of the fantasy of the 'perfect relationship' that the narcissist has planted in their head. They feel defeated, confused, and disoriented.

This book seeks to define how the narcissist came to be. In learning the development of the narcissist, we can pick apart his interior world and dissect his behaviors. We can educate ourselves in order to become less sensitive to the narcissist's self-destructive ways. We can learn to turn a deaf ear on the poor behaviors of the narcissist and not allow these behaviors to change who we are.

Many of my readers and listeners email me because they need help and advice in their relationships with narcissists. They are either looking to get away from narcissists' abuse or to outsmart them. Some of them are even looking for ways to remain in the relationships as the narcissists' primary supplies. They are aware of the triangulation, compartmentalization, gaslighting, and manipulation tactics of their narcissists, but they are willing to put up with these in order to maintain relationships with them.

You may have heard of some of the complexes. Some of them may be new to you. We will try to educate you on those which may be prevalent in the people whom you interact with throughout your experiences in this life. It will also educate you in the event that you come across another person with a psychological complex. It helps you to know how their personalities and their psyche came to be from their many healthy and unhealthy experiences.

Many people enjoy collecting things. But what happens when their "collections" grow out of control? People who have a psychological disorder called hoarding may let their teddy bear collections or garbage collections take over their entire homes! Their obsessive and compulsive acquiring of junk, collectibles, and everyday items may result in their homes becoming uninhabitable. Many hoarders' homes are even condemned!

Many of my readers and listeners email me. They may be in relationships with people who are diagnosed with OCPD, or they have been diagnosed with OCPD themselves. Some of them have parents, siblings, children, or friends with OCPD. Many people who know someone with OCPD want to know how to help the OCPD sufferer from doing some of his or her repetitive or negative behaviors. They may be bothered by the OCPD person's behaviors, or they want to help the OCPD person to live a more fulfilling life overall.

You may have downloaded this book for many reasons. You might be someone who has a socially awkward child, friend, spouse, lover, employee, boss, or parent. They may be object-oriented, task-oriented, and may lack social skills. They may struggle to make friends. Maybe they prefer aloneness or isolation. Maybe they feel a sense of alienation from other people.

It is said that the average women says four words per day to her husband, most of which is some type of request relating to the house, finances, or children. Is it that men are from a different planet and speak a completely different language from their wives? With the divorce rate higher than it was a century ago, it seems that many couples have given up trying to have any meaningful conversation at all. But why is there a discord between the sexes?