In this episode, I speak with attorney, advocate, and author Meg Groff, whose 40+ years of experience supporting victims of domestic violence have impacted countless families. We dive into the critical missteps attorneys often make in family court, how those missteps put survivors and children at risk, and what needs to change. Meg also shares insights from her powerful new book, Not If I Can Help It, and offers a vision for how legal systems, legislation, and cultural understanding must evolve to better protect survivors.

About Meg:
Meg Groff is an attorney, advocate, and author with more than four decades of experience representing victims of domestic violence in family court. She has trained thousands of professionals on the dynamics of abuse, contributed to legislation protecting survivors, and developed legal programs ensuring free representation for victims seeking protection. Since retiring from trial work, she continues to consult, mentor, and write, most recently authoring Not If I Can Help It, a memoir and call to action for legal and cultural reform.

Connect with Meg:
Buy Not If I Can Help It - https://www.amazon.com/Not-If-Can-Help-Domestic/dp/1953943470/ref=sr_1_1?
Meg Groff Twitter/X - @meggroffauthor
Meg Groff Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571087065596
Meg Groff Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/meggroff2025/
www.meggroff.com

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

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You finally left. You survived.

So why do you still feel like you're the one who did something wrong?

We’re unpacking the survivor’s guilt and moral injury that often surface after leaving an abusive relationship—especially when your children are still in contact with the abusive parent, or when you feel like others "had it worse."

We explore:

• The psychological and emotional experience of moral injury
• The guilt of not being able to protect your children full-time
• How survivors remain stuck with “no-win” decisions
• How survivors often minimize their own trauma
• The long-term impact of being the safe parent while the abuser still holds power
• And, most importantly, how to begin healing and moving from moral injury to moral resilience

If you're listening to this as it comes out, this episode is a prelude to my upcoming workshop (May 2, 2025) on healing from moral injury—if you’ve ever felt crushed by guilt for surviving or worry that your pain isn’t valid, this is for you.

Referenced episodes:

Episode 141: The Shame Was Never Yours: Healing from Vicarious Shame After Abuse - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/16741508

Ep 147: Co-Parenting with a Manipulative Ex: How to Shield Your Child from Coercive Control - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/16971544

Ep 50: How Narcissistic Abuse Leads to Moral Injury - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/12984312

Ep 56: Start Healing from Moral Injury with Guest Dr. Daniel Roberts - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/13198006

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Abusers who use coercive control don’t just manipulate one person—they manipulate everyone around them, including their own children. As a protective parent, whether you’ve left the relationship or are still navigating it, how can you empower your child to recognize manipulation and maintain their sense of self?

In this episode, we dive deep into:

✔️ How coercive control tactics—like triangulation, gaslighting, and emotional withholding—are used against children
✔️ The subtle and overt ways abusers condition kids to doubt themselves and comply with their demands
✔️ Why strengthening your bond with your child is the first and most critical step in protecting them
✔️ How to foster open communication and critical thinking without “disparaging” the other parent (and putting your legal case at risk)
✔️ Practical strategies to help children recognize manipulation and trust their own perceptions
✔️ How to teach emotional intelligence, body awareness, and discernment in an age-appropriate way

🎙 Why This Matters:
Coercive control isn’t always loud—it’s often the silent conditioning that strips a child of their developing identity. As a safe parent, you can give your child the tools to recognize manipulation and make empowered choices, even in the most challenging co-parenting situations.

Referrenced Links:"
Episode 101: The Protective Parent’s Guide to Parenting with Guest Robyn Gobbel, MSW - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/15091121

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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As you start healing from coercive control and domestic violence within your relationship, it is likely that you will start to have revelations about other relationships in your life.

Patterns and experiences in your family of origin, specifically with your parents may come to the forefront, especially if there was physical or emotional abandonment.

We welcome Kaytee Gillis, LCSW back to The Rising Beyond Podcast as we do a deep dive on the impacts of parental abandonment; what that means, how you have been impacted, how cultural messages have impacted your ability to understand unhealthy dynamics, and what you can do now on your healing journey to heal those attachment wounds.

Kaytee Specializes in working with survivors of family and relationship trauma, psychological abuse, and CPTSD. She is a psychotherapist, author, educator and proud cat mom of three fur babies. She has published 4 books, two on the topic of intimate partner violence and two on family trauma and her newest book, “Healing from Parental Abandonment and Neglect” may be a game changer as you process your relationship with your parents.

Connect with Kaytee:
https://www.kaytlyngillislcsw.com/

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Language shapes how we see ourselves, our experiences, and our healing journey. In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, we’re diving into why words matter for survivors of domestic violence—how they can be used to manipulate and harm, and how they can also be reclaimed to empower and heal.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✔️ The power of survivor language vs. the gaslighting words abusers use.
✔️ How trauma-informed language can support healing while victim-blaming language hinders it.
✔️ The role of the media and family court in shaping narratives around abuse.
✔️ How abusers weaponize language to maintain control—gaslighting, word salad, and blame-shifting.
✔️ Why naming experiences like coercive control, post-separation abuse, and trauma bonding is so validating.
✔️ The impact of self-talk on your recovery and how to reframe harmful internalized messages.
✔️ How to reclaim your narrative and choose empowering language for yourself.

Why This Matters:
Language isn’t just about words—it’s about power, control, validation, and healing. When survivors don’t have the right words to describe their experiences, they can feel lost or even doubt their own reality. But when they do? It’s like turning on a light in a dark room.

Glossary: www.risingbeyondpc.com/glossary

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Being able to share your experiences of coercive control and domestic violence in a way that is credible is imperative if you are dealing with any larger systems or trying to get support from friends and family.

And this is something survivors of abuse struggle with.

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast we look at not only the importance of sharing a credible story, but the common challenges that survivors face and then some practical steps that can be taken to improve the level of credibility that you can gain when telling your story.

Some of the top challenges are:
The myths and misconceptions about domestic violence that lead to bias
The timeline of family court and other evaluations do not allow for healing to happen before a survivor needs to tell their story
The trauma responses that arise when sharing the narrative
Survivors sharing context before their key points, concerns or asks

Some of the ways discussed to become more credible:

• Use “rocks in a jar” for all communication
• Find ways to regulate your nervous system
• Use the support of others to find places and people where it is safe to be safe

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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How often have you felt voice-less and silenced as a survivor of coercive control and domestic violence?

Survivors are voice-less when living in the relationship with their abuser. They also often do not get a chance to speak their truth in family court or within any other larger systems either.

And so when you are in a place where you want to be heard and decide to make things more public, it is possible that your abuser will do anything and everything to silence you again. This is what happened to my guest, Lorraine Marshall. She received defamation charges against her after writing her book titled, “Post Separation Abuse. Betrayal and Abandonment. What Type Of Man?”

So, if you have ever been in a place where you want to be an advocate for other survivors by writing a book or having a podcast or Youtube channel you will need to learn how to protect yourself just in case. Lorraine Marshall shares her story of abuse, how she was silenced, and how she was able to beat the charges filed against her.

Loraine Marshall is a self-published author and survivor of hidden emotional abuse that was revealed to her post-separation. If money was not a concern, I would buy a home and run a retreat to help women in recovery from trauma after any of the three Ds in relationship endings.

Connect with Loraine:
Book - Post Separation Abuse. Betrayal and Abandonment. What Type Of Man?
UK - https://amzn.to/3NBlQbx
US - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1RVQQDH
Blog - https://successwithloraine.com/when-four-months-turns-into-four-years/
https://ko-fi.com/lorenkeelingauthor https://www.youtube.com/@successwithloraine/podcasts

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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Supervised visitation and therapeutic visitation are meant to provide safety and structure for children and families navigating complex custody dynamics. But what happens when there are no regulations, inconsistent oversight, and a severe lack of training among those facilitating these visits? In this episode, I share real-life stories, my experiences getting trained, and the major concerns with how these services are currently being implemented. I’ll break down:

• What supervised and therapeutic visitation should look like
• The risks of unregulated or poorly structured visitation services
• Why documentation, training, and therapist collaboration must be prioritized
• What we can do to bring awareness and demand better oversight

If you’ve experienced supervised or therapeutic visitation—or have concerns about how it’s being handled in your case—this episode is for you.

Referenced Links:
Episode 44: The Myth of Parental Alienation: What is it really?

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

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