In this episode, I speak with attorney, advocate, and author Meg Groff, whose 40+ years of experience supporting victims of domestic violence have impacted countless families. We dive into the critical missteps attorneys often make in family court, how those missteps put survivors and children at risk, and what needs to change. Meg also shares insights from her powerful new book, Not If I Can Help It, and offers a vision for how legal systems, legislation, and cultural understanding must evolve to better protect survivors.

About Meg:
Meg Groff is an attorney, advocate, and author with more than four decades of experience representing victims of domestic violence in family court. She has trained thousands of professionals on the dynamics of abuse, contributed to legislation protecting survivors, and developed legal programs ensuring free representation for victims seeking protection. Since retiring from trial work, she continues to consult, mentor, and write, most recently authoring Not If I Can Help It, a memoir and call to action for legal and cultural reform.

Connect with Meg:
Buy Not If I Can Help It - https://www.amazon.com/Not-If-Can-Help-Domestic/dp/1953943470/ref=sr_1_1?
Meg Groff Twitter/X - @meggroffauthor
Meg Groff Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61571087065596
Meg Groff Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/meggroff2025/
www.meggroff.com

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

You finally left. You survived.

So why do you still feel like you're the one who did something wrong?

We’re unpacking the survivor’s guilt and moral injury that often surface after leaving an abusive relationship—especially when your children are still in contact with the abusive parent, or when you feel like others "had it worse."

We explore:

• The psychological and emotional experience of moral injury
• The guilt of not being able to protect your children full-time
• How survivors remain stuck with “no-win” decisions
• How survivors often minimize their own trauma
• The long-term impact of being the safe parent while the abuser still holds power
• And, most importantly, how to begin healing and moving from moral injury to moral resilience

If you're listening to this as it comes out, this episode is a prelude to my upcoming workshop (May 2, 2025) on healing from moral injury—if you’ve ever felt crushed by guilt for surviving or worry that your pain isn’t valid, this is for you.

Referenced episodes:

Episode 141: The Shame Was Never Yours: Healing from Vicarious Shame After Abuse - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/16741508

Ep 147: Co-Parenting with a Manipulative Ex: How to Shield Your Child from Coercive Control - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/16971544

Ep 50: How Narcissistic Abuse Leads to Moral Injury - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/12984312

Ep 56: Start Healing from Moral Injury with Guest Dr. Daniel Roberts - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/13198006

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...

Abusers who use coercive control don’t just manipulate one person—they manipulate everyone around them, including their own children. As a protective parent, whether you’ve left the relationship or are still navigating it, how can you empower your child to recognize manipulation and maintain their sense of self?

In this episode, we dive deep into:

✔️ How coercive control tactics—like triangulation, gaslighting, and emotional withholding—are used against children
✔️ The subtle and overt ways abusers condition kids to doubt themselves and comply with their demands
✔️ Why strengthening your bond with your child is the first and most critical step in protecting them
✔️ How to foster open communication and critical thinking without “disparaging” the other parent (and putting your legal case at risk)
✔️ Practical strategies to help children recognize manipulation and trust their own perceptions
✔️ How to teach emotional intelligence, body awareness, and discernment in an age-appropriate way

🎙 Why This Matters:
Coercive control isn’t always loud—it’s often the silent conditioning that strips a child of their developing identity. As a safe parent, you can give your child the tools to recognize manipulation and make empowered choices, even in the most challenging co-parenting situations.

Referrenced Links:"
Episode 101: The Protective Parent’s Guide to Parenting with Guest Robyn Gobbel, MSW - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1991648/episodes/15091121

Register for the Moral Injury workshop here - https://mailchi.mp/risingbeyondpc/moral-injury

Please leave us a review or rating and follow/subscribe to the show. This helps the show get out to more people.

If you want to chat more about this topic I would love to continue our conversation over on Instagram! @risingbeyondpc

If you want to support the show you may do so here at, Buy Me A Coffee. Thank you! We love being able to make this information accessible to you and your community.

If you've been looking for a supportive community of women going through the topics we cover, head over to our website to learn more about the Rising Beyond Community. - https://www.risingbeyondpc.com/

Where to find more from Rising Beyond:
Rising Beyond Facebook
Rising Beyond LinkedIn
Rising Beyond Pinterest

If you're interested in guesting on the show please fill out this form - https://forms.gle/CSvLWWyZxmJ8GGQu7

Enjoy some of our freebies!

• Choosing Your Battles Freebie
• Canned Responses Freebie
• Mic Drop Moments Freebie
• ...