Episodes

  • Dirty Santa Gift: A Christmas Melody
    Dec 22 2024

    It's your Dirty Santa gift from HFM! Sara and Kat start a new holiday tradition of helping a depressed child write a special song about getting their mom laid, inspired by 2015's A Christmas Melody. This classic stars Logan, Tess, and.... Mariah Carey.

    Apparently MC did "write" the song from the finale, and later "adapted its lyrics to be relevant for a child singing about her single mother finding love."

    You can email us about your special relationship with your school custodian at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    50 mins
  • Chronicle Mysteries: The Deep End
    Nov 22 2024

    Sara and Kat are inspired to start a swim class for middle-aged men after watching the next installment of the Chronicle Mysteries.

    Read more about men's sudden thirst for extracurriculars upon becoming fathers here at Reductress.

    You can send us your duffels full of cash at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 27 mins
  • Chronicle Mysteries: Vines That Bind
    Nov 16 2024

    Sara and Kat plant their feet in some very immoral soil during the latest Chronicle Mysteries.


    You can reach us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 26 mins
  • Chronicle Mysteries: The Wrong Man
    Aug 6 2024

    Kat gifts Sara her very best piece of river trash, to celebrate their return to the Chronicle Mysteries.

    Don't upset Glen! If you need to dispose of old electronics, Best Buy and Home Depot have recycling programs: https://shorturl.at/7aZKf.


    If you have counterfeit olive oil to sell us, email us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 58 mins
  • Chronicle Mysteries: Recovered
    May 24 2024

    Kat ziplines Sara into a huge foam ball pit, inspired by the first Chronicle Mystery.


    Send us a blank postcard at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 27 mins
  • Gourmet Detective: Roux the Day w/Jason
    Apr 20 2024

    Professional chef Jason gets into the wild boar meat of this movie with Sara and Kat by preparing several litigation-worthy but delicious absinthe-based dishes.

    Show More Show Less
    2 hrs and 14 mins
  • Gourmet Detective: Eat, Drink, and Be Buried
    Feb 28 2024

    Sara and Kat don their most accurate Marie Antoinette-style victory rolls while chatting about Gourmet Detective: Eat, Drink, and Be Buried.

    We promise to improve our audio by the next episode, although we can't stop Kat's neighbor from weedwhacking dirt.

    Tell us the most devious accusations you've made while on a horseback ride at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 17 mins
  • Gourmet Detective: Death al Dente
    Jan 27 2024

    Sara and Kat schedule simultaneous sleep studies so they'll be ready if an intruder tries to attack them before 11am, inspired by Gourmet Detective: Death al Dente.


    There is a Chinatown in Vancouver! But you can still email to scold us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 11 mins