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He Said, She Said

Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court

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He Said, She Said

By: Dr Charlotte Proudman
Narrated by: Dr Charlotte Proudman
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About this listen

 If you and your family needed help, could you trust the law to be on your side?

Award-winning barrister Charlotte Proudman has dedicated her working life to representing women who find themselves in need of help from the family law courts. Time and again, she has watched as these women are let down by the system that is supposed to protect them. Seeking only justice and safety, they have instead been met with cruelty and disdain, deemed unreliable witnesses compared to the men who abused them.

From family courts failing to protect victims from abusers to the misogynistic bullying Charlotte herself receives from senior members of her profession, the problem is clear: no matter their circumstances, women across the country are suffering at the hands of a legal system built by men.

But change is on the horizon. In He Said, She Said, Proudman gives voice to the women whose stories are all too often brushed aside in the name of giving abusers 'the benefit of the doubt'. Through real-life cases spanning forced marriage, domestic abuse, child abduction and female genital mutilation, Proudman highlights the troubling biases and shocking prejudice that underlie our legal system - and in a book that is at once thrilling, engaging and deeply compassionate, puts forward her own inspiring vision for long-term change.©2025 Charlotte Proudman (P)2025 Orion Publishing Group Limited Abuse Domestic Partner Abuse Dysfunctional Families Gender Studies Judicial Systems Law Parenting & Families Relationships Social Sciences

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Critic reviews

Proudman is a fearless campaigner for women's rights, unafraid to tackle misogyny wherever she sees it. Her indictment of the inequalities in the legal system should be required reading by lawyers and lawmakers alike (CATHY NEWMAN)
This important book will shock you. And you will also be inspired and uplifted by the countless women who don't and won't give up (VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE)
An indictment of a legal system that protects abusers at the expense of survivors. Charlotte Proudman exposes the biases and institutional failures that silence women and endanger children with clarity and conviction. He Said She Said is a call to action (CAROL VORDERMAN)
This remarkable book offers a compelling and insightful examination of the devastating impact of misogyny. Drawing from real-life experiences - both her own and those of her clients - Proudman exposes injustices that have remained hidden for far too long. A powerful and necessary revelation (CHERIE BLAIR CBE KC)
Proudman carefully dissects the misuse of the family courts by perpetrators to pursue domestic abuse survivors and their children. A must read for anyone seeking to build a society safe for women and girls (APSANA BEGUM MP)
Do you care about justice? Then this is the book for you. He Said, She Said takes us on a courageous and compassionate journey highlighting women failed by a legal system that should have protected them. Proudman poignantly amplifies their voices, shedding light on the injustices they endure and offering changes for the future. A profoundly important book (KAY BURLEY)
Proudman lays bare the harsh realities of a legal system built by men and stacked against women. Through gripping, real-life cases and her own experiences as a family law barrister, she exposes the urgent need for reform. He Said, She Said offers a rare glimpse into the secretive world of the family courts and the brutal ways in which women and children are let down. A must-read for anyone who cares about justice (ELLIE WILSON)
All stars
Most relevant  
Recognise so much of this from personal experience. Enlightening and well presented. So reassuring to know that people like Charlotte Proudman are selflessly slogging away to make a real difference, despite the personal toll.

Dr Charlotte Proudman is a hero!

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I’ve just finished reading Dr Proudman’s book, and I have to say, it’s incredibly well written. The delivery is excellent, and she comes across as a truly formidable advocate. Her passion for justice and her commitment to supporting victims of domestic abuse is clear throughout, and I genuinely admire that.

That said, I did find the book felt a little one-sided at times. While it’s absolutely right to highlight the widespread issue of male violence against women (and Dr Proudman does this with real insight) it’s also important to acknowledge that abuse can be perpetrated by both men and women. Cases like Richard and Sheree Spencer’s, featured in the Netflix documentary My Wife, My Abuser, show that reality quite starkly.

This book sheds much-needed light on the injustices within the family courts, particularly how they can fail victims of abuse. That part is powerful. But as someone who believes in true equality, I found it surprising that the book didn’t address the experiences of male victims at all. Especially given that, in private Children Act proceedings, 96% of legal aid recipients are women and, many allegations are made without findings or even arrests. That’s an imbalance we can't ignore.

I really wish Dr Proudman had written (or might consider writing in the future) a book that covers domestic abuse in all its forms, affecting both men and women, and focuses more squarely on the systemic failures of the courts. A book centred on the children caught in these cases, rather than drawing repeated comparisons to her own (albeit remarkable) childhood experiences, would in my view be truly ground-breaking.

I say all of this with genuine respect. Dr Proudman is clearly a brilliant and passionate individual, and her voice is so important in this space. But if she were to focus more on the core issues, and less on a singular narrative, I honestly believe she could be instrumental in changing legislation for the better.

Still, Dr Proudman, please do keep going. You’re doing vital work, and you are undoubtedly a remarkable human being.

A Vital Voice in Family Law, Though Not the Full Picture

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Dr Proudman is not only a talented family law Barrister, who has campaigned to change the law to protect women and children. She is a proud feminist who makes it her life’s work to improve women’s rights. The abuse she has faced for this is nothing short of truly shocking. It shows how deep the misogyny runs in our society and legal system. I highly recommend this book or audiobook

Fantastic audiobook!

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You are an inspiring determined strong woman Charlotte & we all appreciate you for it - keep doing what u do

The truth

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Audiobooks that are narrated by the author are my preference and this book is no difference. You can hear the authors passion and drive coming through.
The stories the author uses make this book accessible to all and helps explain how law and family courts can impact any of us. Suitable for professionals, parents and those who wish to develop a deeper understanding of how our family court system is traumatising for children and those impacted by those parents who are intent on continuing their control and abuse. An essential read.

The chapter on parental alienation was particularly fascinating

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The book is interesting, well written, and shines a spotlight on how badly the legal system treats women, It would have been a much better listen with a professional narrator - unfortunately through her intonation the author signals what your reaction should be to the upcoming material before you hear it; actually as a listener I want to make my own mind up on that. Also there are many places where the narrated word flow is not correct. Despite these issues (and to be fair the narration improves in the second half of the book) the book succeeds in getting its important message across.

Important story let down by the narration

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The book covers some interesting and relevant cases however Ms Proudman should have paid for a narrator with a far softer delivery. Yes, the book covers some disturbing cases but Ms Proudman’s aggressive, condescending, know it all delivery makes one feel she is personally accusing all men of hideous crimes. I certainly would not invite her to a dinner party and let’s face it I bet she would decline my invitation.

Aggressive and Overbearing read

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Couldn’t listen to this. Content probably interesting but author’s delivery so shrill that I had to give up. Might try reading this book.

Impossible delivery

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