Donny O'Malley
AUTHOR

Donny O'Malley

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I was born accidentally in Queens, New York to Irish and Colombian Catholic immigrants. My strict Roman Catholic-altar-boy upbringing set me up for an unconventional life of deviance, discipline, sex, violence, parties, adventure, and service to others. It's a weird combo, I know. After f!cking around for 25 years and narrowly avoiding, death, jail, my father's disdain, and HIV, (pending recent bloodwork) I finally settled down and joined the Marine Corps. Ok, that's a lie. I became even more psychotic when I joined the Marines because being an Officer enabled me to get away with just about anything. Literally. Well, except disobeying orders in combat and telling my boss he's a f!cking moron. I couldn't really get away with that..... Well that's another lie, I did get away with it, and ended up with a pension! Thanks Uncle Sam! I'm going to write books that make Marines, Rangers, SEALs, and grunts of all branches and nations cheer,laugh, cry and then simultaneously shit and bust a nut, with the potential for spontaneous combustion. I'm going to take the money from these books sales and reinvest it into the most realistic, dark, controversial, and hilarious show about combat and the infantry that has ever been made. The show will be very near and dear to combat veteran's hearts, and will be detested by pussies, losers, and ignorant fools who don't understand how important it is for our country's safety--to have good-hearted-psychopaths like us who enjoy the opportunity to confront evil with smile, and are prepared to die happy on the battlefield, in the service of our country. Yeah, my shit will be controversial, and my boys will like it that way. I'm gonna travel to USO's all over the world and to the front line of any American conflict and entertain the troops in between missions and battles. I want to be the next Bob Hope, but better, because I once stood in the boots of a bloodthirsty grunt. All throughout my sick, demented, and psychotic jokes is a powerful message. As combat vets, we must take care of each other. We must reach out, we must get together, and we must continue the brotherhood, or guys are gonna keep blowing their f!cking brains at the sustained rate of 22 a day. It's not hard, all we have to do is get together....Let's start with laughter.
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