Showing results by narrator "Joe Hempel" in All Categories

Meet the new, improved Andrew Mayhem. He has a real job. He’s a better father and husband. And he’s vowed to quit accepting money from strange women in coffee shops to perform tasks that go terribly, terribly wrong. This time, he’s just taking a relaxing camping trip with his family and best friend. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you’re Andrew Mayhem, you just can’t help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death.

When Kevin finds Sarah stranded by the side of the road, he’s more than willing to give her a ride. Young, beautiful and distraught—she’s everything a single guy could ask for in a girl. What he doesn’t know is that she already has a guy: an abusive, drunken boyfriend who left her there in a fit of rage. And when that boyfriend comes back and finds Sarah missing, a simple ride will turn deadly.

Celebrating the 100th anniversary of the first issues of Weird Tales Magazine, 100 Years of Weird is a masterful compendium of new and classic stories, flash fiction, essays, and poems from the giants of speculative fiction, including R. L. Stine, Laurell K. Hamilton, Ray Bradbury, H. P. Lovecraft, Tennessee Williams, and Isaac Asimov.

Diggory Finch had a mother that didn’t seem to want him and a father that chose to run from every struggle the family ever had. The same father lied about the family fortune. But now Grandma Beatrice is gone, and Diggory has inherited Finch Island in Twin Falls, as well as millions of dollars, a house, an old mill building, and the profound, evil darkness that dwells at the center of his family’s heart.

At the edge of Frontier space, renegade Templar Orin Lashra has evaded capture by the Marshals and their premier fighting force, the Lancers. Darting across the colonies, Lasher and his friends wage a brutal war against the Seven Seats cartel for their part in the murder of the woman he called mother. Lasher’s relentless pursuit of vengeance soon draws the attention of the Gun Wraith, a mysterious mercenary intent on taking Orin for a client who considers his capture a no-fail mission.

When the matriarch of a rich Seattle family dies under suspicious circumstances, private investigator Thomas Austin is on the case. This time, the suspect list is easy.

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.

When a bandit raid destroys his home, Gabriel Kane believes his whole family is killed in the fire. Burdened by guilt, he dedicates his life to bringing those responsible to justice. Xander Kane has a secret place, a crawlspace under the kitchen perfect for stealing snacks. When the bandits attack Xander is trapped by the flames. Xander emerges hours later scarred and near death, his whole world reduced to ashes. Blind with rage, Xander dedicates his life to killing those responsible.

Luke Titan. Esteemed college professor. Genius scientist. Incisive psychiatrist. Brilliant FBI agent. He was all of these things, until he paralyzed one FBI partner and tried to gut another. After waging war on the US government and killing thousands, he's driven his ex-partner, Christian Windsor, to the brink of insanity. Now, Titan is on the run one final time, and Christian will stop at nothing to catch him. Then kill him. But is Luke actually running, or is he putting the final touches on his masterpiece? Is he luring Christian to him so he can finish what he started years ago?

With the empire secure, Otto turns his focus west. The first piece of the Immortality Engine lies across the ocean in Lord Colt’s Workshop. Complicating Otto’s mission, Eddred of Markane is already in Colt’s Land, trying to persuade them to help him defeat the empire. Can Otto navigate a web of politics and intrigue unlike anything he’s ever encountered? Or, will his mission fail before he even reaches Colt’s workshop?

Nothing has gone right for Conryu Koda since learning he's a wizard. On his first day at The North American Alliance's Arcane Academy he's greeted by protestors and pelted with tomatoes. On the second day he nearly dies in a magical ritual. It's all downhill from there. With enemies around every corner, not to mention a crazy professor, will Conryu even make it to winter break?

Faced with an ultimatum from a mysterious coalition of Apocalypses, Zeke and the crew are given a grim choice: submit, or die. Never one to roll over and give up, Zeke chooses the hard route. The only Apocalypses left are powerhouses who won not only their city but also the territorial battles afterwards. To the last, they're horrific monstrosities with the worst at heart.

College students Eric and Lydia are looking for a novel way to spend Halloween. They decide to put together a documentary about the supernatural and take a camcorder into the long-abandoned house on Kenwood Drive. It's said that a vengeful spirit lives there, and Lydia thinks it the perfect location. Eric, though, has his reservations. Having grown up in the area, he's familiar with the stories of the spirit they call the "Upside-Down Man", and as their trip to the house draws near, his fear begins to mount.

The cat is out of the bag, and everyone learns that Callyn is the next alpha queen. She gains a friend in Catori Na'Estse, a girl who was also wronged by Kelsey. Callyn has officially claimed all of her mates and has shifted, gaining some new abilities along the way. Soon, they realize there are people who don't want to see her ascend to the throne. They will stop at nothing to make sure she doesn't take her rightful place as alpha queen. After almost losing her life, Callyn realizes just how far some people will go for power, greed, and jealousy.

With magic, nothing's impossible. Everyone knew it was impossible for men to do magic, until it happened. Conryu Koda is a young man of modest ambition. All he wants is to work on bikes and practice Kung Fu. His modest dreams die on the day of The Testing when it's revealed he has wizard potential. When the Department of Magic announces that a male wizard has been found it draws the attention of the Le Fay Society, a radical group of wizards that view men as little better than animals and Conryu as an abomination.

Demon lights, granted wishes, strange things, and brutal love at the Lucky Lounge Motel. A haunted sister, desperate parents, a little human touch, and the end of the world. These are the stories whispered among dead leaves, the script etched bare for all to see. Welcome to Glenn Rolfe’s Land of Bones, 14 tales of the strange and macabre.

Moving back home to my parents' cattle ranch in Texas was the last thing I thought I'd be doing. But, here I stand...in front of my high school girlfriend. A beautiful, confident woman has replaced the young girl I once knew and loved. Hell. I'm still in love with her. Yep. Paxton Monroe was my first love and the one girl in town who now hated my guts. So much so, Paxton swore her revenge on me if it took her until the day she died.

Yes, Andrew Mayhem, hero of Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary) is back. Still incredibly brave. Still ridiculously irresponsible. And this time, becoming chainsaw fodder is one of his lesser worries. He’s forced to pose as a serial killer known as The Headhunter in order to infiltrate a group of maniacs who’ve gathered in an isolated Alaskan mansion for a weekend of murderous games. Can he free the potential victims in time...or will he be forced to participate in their demise?

Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?

Leah is a financially destitute new age hippy. James is a wealthy surgeon with a trust fund. She's awkward, he's poised. She's completely crazy, he's way too sane. People might say they have nothing in common, but they'd be wrong. They both live in Manhattan, they both have no idea how to change a baby diaper, and they're both lost ...until they find one another.