Showing results by narrator "Peter Serafinowicz" in All Categories

Tiffany Aching is ready to begin her apprenticeship in magic, but life isn't exactly what she thought it would be. She expects spells and magic - not chores and ill-tempered goats! Surely there must be more to witchcraft than this? And Tiffany will find that she needs her magic more than ever, to fight off the insidious, disembodied creature that is pursuing her. This time, neither Mistress Weatherwax (the greatest witch in the world) nor the fierce, six-inch-high Wee Free Men can protect her. In the end, it will take all of Tiffany's inner strength to save herself.

Change is in the air for Moist von Lipwig, swindler, con-man and (naturally) head of the Royal Bank and Post Office. A steaming, clanging new invention - a steam locomotive named Iron Girder, to be precise - is drawing astonished crowds. Suddenly it's a matter of national importance that the trains run on time. Moist does not enjoy hard work. His input at the bank and post office consists mainly of words, which are not that heavy. Or greasy. And it certainly doesn't involve rickety bridges, runaway cheeses or a fat controller with knuckledusters.

Rincewind, inept wizard and reluctant hero, has found himself magically stranded on the Discworld's last continent. It's hot. It's dry. There was this thing once called The Wet, which no one believes in any more. Practically everything that's not poisonous is venomous. But it's the best bloody place in the world, all right? And in a few days, it will die. The only thing standing between the last continent and wind-blown doom is Rincewind, and he can't even spell wizard. Still...no worries, eh?

Women belong in the kitchen - everyone knows that. Not in jobs, pubs or indeed trousers, and certainly not on the front line. Nonetheless, Polly Perks has to become a boy in a hurry if she wants to find her missing brother in the army. Cutting off her hair and wearing the trousers is easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape takes more time. There's a war on. There's always a war on, and Polly and her fellow raw recruits are suddenly in the thick of it. All they have on their side is the most artful sergeant in the army and a vampire with a lust for coffee.

Maurice, a streetwise tomcat, has the perfect money-making scam. Everyone knows the stories about rats and pipers, and Maurice has a stupid-looking kid with a pipe, and his very own plague of rats—strangely educated rats. But in Bad Blintz, the little con suddenly goes down the drain. For someone there is playing a different tune and now the rats must learn a new word. EVIL. It's not a game any more. It's a rat-eat-rat world. And that might only be the start.

Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All he wants is his three wishes granted. Nothing fancy—to be immortal, rule the world, have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him, the usual stuff. But instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage.

Thirtieth-century Britain and the calamitous collapse of the pension system means compulsory euthanasia for all 70-year-olds. But a clerical error spells disaster for 69-year-old George Smith, who suddenly finds himself facing his demise a year early. Feisty George isn't going to take this lying down and goes into battle with Central Admin - and the terrifying TV crew from This Was Your Life, who want to broadcast his imminent death live on air.

The crime is life! The Judgement is death! When Judge Death enters Mega-City One from a parallel dimension, his plan is simple: to find every single living cit and sentence them—to death! The critically acclaimed Essential Dredd Collection is a perfect jumping on point for new listeners and this volume introduces Judge Death, the Dark Judges and wisecracking Psi Judge Cassandra Anderson.

Mixing parody, literary criticism, profiles, satire, light verse, anagrams, AND social observation, Haywire gathers together the finest examples of Craig Brown's writing across the past fifteen years. From Mary Berry’s Household Tips to Robert Macfarlane’s poetic prose, from profiles of such diverse figures as Sigmund Freud and Katie Price to parodies of Jacob Rees-Mogg and Mary Beard, and from appreciations of the Marx Brothers and Les Dawson to essays on Brian Epstein and the slippery art of biography, Haywire contains a bumper selection of work.

Norman is an idealistic, Beethoven-loving revolutionary. Max is a boring but cheerful timeshare salesman who won't stop talking. Fellow passengers on a flight to the Moon, they're thrown together to become reluctant companions after the lunar shuttle's toilet cubicle explodes, crash-landing them both on the desert sands of a distant alien planet. They are rescued by the friendly Oblivions, who could not be more delighted to see them.

This 'shamelessly nerdy...deeply silly' (Radio Times) space extravaganza features fewer close-ups of Professor Brian Cox looking cool in front of a rocket than Wonders of the Universe but more weird, wonderful and occasionally woeful stories about the geniuses, Nazis and Satanists who plotted to propel humankind to the stars. Find out the many and varied ways to leave the planet as It Is Rocket Science takes you on a 'gleefully irreverent' (The Scotsman) whistle-stop comic tour of the Great Brains who put monkeys, ladies, dogs and gentlemen into orbit.

Deep in London's East End, Garry and Barry run a pub, and they're not very good at it. Things usually go from bad to worse when their mate, Dodgy Phil, comes up with increasingly hair-brained ideas to reinvent the local - often with explosive results. Could they make this the world's first environmentally friendly bar? Build the world's biggest pub named after the Titanic (but is it undrinkable)? What about booking Chas and Dave for the Queen's visit? Plus, there's the difficulty of running a pub next door to a zoo.

Christopher Marlowe turns government spy in these four comedy crime dramas. Murder and intrigue are all in a day's work for Kit Marlowe, England's leading playwright and undercover agent in Her Majesty's Secret Service. Amid the squalor and splendour of Elizabethan London, he probes a series of baffling mysteries, aided by his trusty underworld accomplice Bartholomew Ratsbane.

Eight dark comic dramas narrated by Alexei Sayle and adapted from his original short stories. Dramatised from Alexei Sayle's hilarious, highly acclaimed fiction, these satirical, surreal and surprising tales feature some of the UK's foremost comic actors, and are introduced by the award-winning comedian himself.

Terry Lyon, assistant head keeper of Southwood Zoo, trusts animals because most people think he’s a waste of space. But as the zoo lurches towards bankruptcy, his future looks bleak. As if managing hungry elephants and contrary polar bears wasn’t complicated enough, the humans in Terry’s life pose their own challenges. Having had to move back in with his parents after his divorce, life becomes complicated when Terry’s ex Margaret starts seeing his best friend Richard.

The annals of movie history are full of lost treasures – spectacular scripts from world-renowned writers that could have been classics, had they only been made. Now, for the first time, some of these forgotten gems have been brought to life, fully realised as vivid, cinematic radio productions. Scripted by major 20th Century writers, they star a host of A-list actors and feature richly evocative, atmospheric soundtracks.

The massive best-selling Timewaster Letters books featured the wonderfully silly letters of Robin Cooper (a.k.a. Friday Night Dinner creator Robert Popper) in which he shared his madcap ideas - and even madcapper inventions - with everyone from the British Halibut Association to the Peanut Council. The resulting replies, as well as Cooper’s replies-to-these-replies, had a nation in hysterics.

One of seven 'unmade movies' available on audio, The Blind Man is set in 1961 and features a famous blind jazz pianist, Larry Keating, who agrees to a pioneering surgical procedure: an eye transplant. The operation is a success, but his new eyes are those of a murdered man - and burned onto their retina is the image of his killer. Can Larry track him down before he strikes again?

When Tony Hardstaff breaks the bank playing ‘Snap!’ at the St Petersburg Casino, he is swept up in a maelstrom of romance and adventure. Seduced by the sultry Natassia Fillipovna Karamazov – a woman with curves so perfect they could make a geometry professor spontaneously combust – Tony is caught in flagrante by the Russian mafia, and flees for his life.