Showing results by narrator "Arte Johnson" in All Categories

Prepare to be entertained by a host of Hollywood celebrities reading the finest collection of short mystery stories surrounding the world of entertainment.

This collection of short stories displays Ed Gorman's talents as a masterful storyteller across a range of genres.

A mysterious and beautiful girl who teaches arrogant young men about true love, a lonely traveling salesman who learns that his passenger is Death, children who can absorb the psychic pain of their parents, a desperately pursued serial killer who hides his face under gauze in a hospital room, and a woman who loves the alien infant nobody else wants - these stories and 10 others make up this collection by award-winning author Ed Gorman. Here are stories that led him to be called "one of the best" by Dean Koontz and "one of the most original writers in crime fiction today" by Kirkus Reviews. Here, you'll find the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award.

Included in Different Kinds of Dead, and Other Tales are "Different Kinds of Dead", "Deathman", "A Girl Like You", "Loverboy", "Muse", "Riff", "The Brasher Girl", "Survival", "Masque", "Second Most Popular", and others.

This collection reveals the extraordinary range of storytelling skill and powerful emotions that won Gorman the prized International Fiction Award. His protagonists, gritty and gruff, are strangely likable, and his writing, according to Mystery News, is "powerful, disturbing, [and] often poetic".

What would it take to lure a serious young newswoman from a respectable New England paper to the most notorious supermarket tabloid in America? The call of journalistic adventure? How about a promise of a salary that's triple what she's making? En route to her new job at the Weekly Galaxy, Sara Joslyn stumbles across a bloody corpse in a Buick Riviera. A big story? Not at this paper. The problem is compounded when the dead man vanishes, Buick and all.

Now is not the time to start that fitness program! Instead, laugh along with humorist Dave Barry as he debunks, demotivates, and delights on the subject of fitness. Hear his inimitable views on exercise ("the best time would be the first thing after Easter, but not the one coming up"), weights ("big-time lifters have turned into 400-pound hairy sweaty shapeless grunting masses of tissue. And the men are even worse"), and much more.

This second volume of Orson Scott Card's five-volume anthology of short stories features seven tales exploring possible future scenarios for the human race. A fascistic government's capital punishment extends beyond death. Intellectually superior aliens from a doomed world choose Earth's dogs as their new vessels. Not-quite-human beings on an Earth wasted by biological warfare continously fight an enemy which has long been annihilated.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

Dr. Becky Sorenson has found a cache of frogs with a very high mutation rate...and some odd behaviors. Dr. David Carter’s core earth samples seem to indicate the next polar reversal will be worse than predicted. And CDC researchers Jordan and Jillian are looking at a strange new disease. When the four scientists delve deeper, they discover they are all looking at the leading edge of a sweeping magnetic polar reversal. As humanity ignores their increasingly panicked warnings, the scientists will have to fight to save everyone...if they even can.

Murder in a Distant Land the stories for this annual collection of the Mystery Writers of America were selected for their strange and exotic locales. Breathtaking suspense, cold-blooded crime, and challenging twists of plot - set in the four corner of the world - make this recording a chilling audio experience. We suggest you listen with the lights on!

Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about—exploding Pop-Tarts, for example—are real. Join Dave as he examines UFO thrill-seekers and Elvis-worshippers, runs for president, and plays Claptonesque guitar in the world's most literary band that includes Stephen King (The Rock-Bottom Remainders).

What do best-selling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, and Tom Clancy all have in common? They’ve all been shockingly murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. Now, an extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim....

A collection of coast-to-coast murder and mayham, including these unabridged short stories: "Vaudeville" by Whitley Strieber, read by Roddy McDowell; "Lucky Day" by Mary Higgins Clark, read by Betsy Palmer; "Starstruck" by Jon A. Breen, read by James Stacy; "Snookered" by Gerald Tomlinson, read by David Birney; "It Was Bad Enough" by Ron Goulart, read by Arte Johnson and Gee Whiz; "My Lovely" by Betty Buchanan, read by Joan Rivers.

If there's even a smidgen of Scrooge in your psyche, just say, "Bah-Humbug!" and laugh at this satire of the treacly best seller, The Christmas Box. Among the variations on the theme are: The Christmas Vox, in which a young man finds himself having phone sex with Ms. Santa Claus; The Christmas Jury Box, a touching memoir by a sequestered O.J. juror who misses her fruitcake; and The Christmas Box Lunch, the touching tale of a caterer's X-mas. You'll be pleased to learn that the true meaning of Christmas is receiving.

Today, as the years have passed, readers and listeners have become increasingly passionate about Russell Baker's writing, addicted to his columns and fanatic in their admiration of him. Here is the best of the best of Russell Baker, arranged into a dozen different themes that give us a view of American life at once wise and most amusing.

Dave Barry didn't know what he was letting himself in for when he invited his Legion of Alert Readers to submit their nominees in the Bad Song Survey. "Song badness," he soon learned, "is an issue that Americans care deeply about."Now John Ritter and Arte Johnson present for you the songs that Americans love to hate. There is Gary Puckett and the Union Gap Band's "Young Girl" ("Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line..."), which is not to be confused with "Woman", and "This Girl Is a Woman Now"....

Stories by Seven Renowned American mystery writers offer a delightful mix of mystery, suspense and murder in this new anthology.

Harry Beltway, idealistic young conservative and grandson of a famous evangelist, has just come back from a two-years tour as a missionary when he is persuaded to join the campaign staff of Tim Duncannon, an arch-conservative television commentator who has set his sights on the Republican nomination for presidency so that he can build a barbed wire fence around America.

What do best-selling writers Sue Grafton, Danielle Steel, Curtis Sittenfeld (prep) and Tom Clancy all have in common? They've all been shockingly murdered in a manner both gruesome and appropriate to their style. Now, an extremely paranoid Stephen King is convinced that he will be the next victim. With great trepidation, he leaves his heavily barricaded fortress in Bangor, Maine, to discover Who's Killing the Great Writers of America?

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

When Dave Barry writes funny, you write back. And when you write funny, Dave Barry talks back! Pulitzer Prize-winning author and columnist Dave Barry gets more response from readers than any other writer in the United States. And now the absolute best of Dave Barry is available, complete with those items sent in by Dave's legion of Alert Readers all across the country. But Dave Barry doesn't only talk back to readers. He talks back to traffic cops, dentists, doctors, Congress, and his very dumb dogs.

The seven stories that represent Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine's July and August 2003 issues exhibit an unusual diversity of almost familiar worlds.