“I am most proud that I know my worth in a way I didn’t. And that’s been something that’s been a concerted effort to build build my self-esteem, to build my self-confidence”.

My final guest of 2024 for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ is someone who brings energy, laughter & passion into what they do & the world. It’s Woosh Raza (he/him).

Woosh is a Human Resources professional who is embarking on an exciting journey. Woosh has decided to do his own thing having just launched his shiny new consultancy, Woosh Ltd - ‘a bespoke consultancy offering an extensive range of HR and ED&I support to help your organisation succeed’. Woosh lives & breathes DEI & any organisation would & should be privileged to work with him.

Like many other guests on this series, I know Woosh across a variety settings - mainly socially - and we’ve delved into many big life conversations so I knew this was going to be a brilliant chat as I learn more about him… & that I did. We talked about Little Woosh as a shy kid through to becoming the super outgoing Woosh we know today and around some of the complexities around that. The concepts of fitting in versus belonging play a major role in his story, from childhood to career & navigating the queer scene & social life.

Woosh shares how a health scare a few years ago as a result of over-working massively shaped him in terms of how he now feels about his career, how he takes care of himself these days & knowing what he brings to the table. He’s established a sense of belonging within himself that means he no longer seeks the external validation he once did.

We chat about our shared love & importance of fashion, his early obsession with Batman’s Poison Ivy - which also inspired his desire to be a botanist when he grew up - and why Rihanna is his biggest inspiration. Plus more more. The words he uses to describe him & his origin story are ’Loud. Energy. Solitude.’ You’ll hear why…

Woosh is ready for 2025 as he gears up for “stepping into (his) power as a credible person” in his field. Check out his new website & sign up to his new newsletter too - he’s a great writer to boot! I personally can’t wait to see what’s in store - good luck Woosh & thanks for being a fab guest!

PS. Please take care of yourself whilst listening as we cover some challenging conversations.

Right now is an exciting time for this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind..’ Dr Jack Lopez (he/him) has just left his 16 year career in academia to go it alone on a ‘self-imposed sabbatical’. It’s a huge change and one that Jack is excited about - despite the niggling adult responsibilities to contend with. As he tiptoes towards 50, Jack is allowing himself to believe that anything is possible.

Jack has dealt with constant change throughout his life. Though the way he deals with it now is vastly different from his early years which he describes as ‘dramatic, consistent & fun… and never on the small scale!” He feels like he’s spent a lot of his life running up & down metaphorical mountains, often running away from himself, or searching for comfort. These days, Jack is comfortable in himself and any life changes are no longer not fuelled by panic. His need for change is something he now grasps more following his later life diagnosis of autism & ADHD.

Little Jack was an inquisitive child in an existential way. Jack describes himself as hyper vigilant in his early years & much more serious than he is today. He spent a lot of time alone, happy in his own company and he shares a brilliant anecdote that encapsulate this perfectly!

His teenage years were fraught. He experienced bullying and recognises now that this time was overshadowed by gender dysphoria which caused disassociation alongside a search for sensation through drugs & alcohol. As a result of struggling, Jack left school with no GCSEs. Which makes the fact that he now has a PhD in social anthropology even more impressive, though I was equally bowled over by the many careers Jack has had throughout his life - including being a dancer & choreographer at a theatre school, something which provided escapism as he got lost in the “pure soul of movement”, through to being a support worker, social worker, academic & DEI educator. His move into social work came from Jack’s frustration at seeing how things were being done & thinking he could do it better!

Jack’s attributes his education during his teenage years to his love of hip-hop, Black politics, literature, rock & grunge music which taught him about colonialism, racial injustice & history. Jack felt deeply and we dive into his striving for fairness & social justice. He uses the words ‘interested, inquisitive & persistent’ to describe himself & his origin story - all of which make total sense following our conversation.

We chat about Jack’s upbringing, his supportive family & home life where he’s raising four kids as a single dad. He shares his wish to use his endless vault of knowledge to support activists, how the classroom should be a place to dream about changing the world, his love of Mexico and what brings him joy during uncertain times.

We are putting a trigger warning on this episode as we cover the challenges Jack has experienced including mental health, substance use & other challenging topics so please take of yourself whilst listening.

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” This quote from the 2009 movie Coraline is one this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ lives by. And it flows through his work, impact & origin story.

Olly Pike (he/him) is an illustrator, presenter, educator & all-round amazing human. He’s the Founder & Creator of Pop’n’Olly, his company committed to LGBT+ edutainment for children, parents, teachers & carers. With the support of a wonderful team, Pop’n’Olly creates videos, books & free resources that are used in primary schools across the UK & beyond to teach about equality & diversity and help to combat LGBT+ prejudice before it begins to form. So far, they’ve donated over 12,000 books to schools! And against a backdrop of anti-LGBT+ rhetoric, a recent statistic showed that over 80% of parents want inclusive LGBT+ education for their children - which means Pop’n’Olly are in demand for their tools, books & school visits.

Olly loves his role as a storyteller - one he carries out with a playful nature, passion, patience & a ton of energy! He started his YouTube channel about 12 years ago as a way he could tell his own stories and this inspired the books & what he’s doing now. During the podcast, he talks about how his author visits show how accepting & aware kids are. And how it’s the parents who are often one page behind them when it comes to their learning…

Olly’s stories are very much ones that Little Olly needed. As a kid, Olly loved drawing, dressing up & pink sparkly things as much as his other toys. Which was fine until school started and societal expectations & limitations around gender came into it. This lead to a lot of policing, filtering & editing by others & himself with his behaviour, movement etc… a common reality for many young queer people & one we’ve discussed on this podcast before. Shame is also a core theme of Olly’s origin story, from his younger years through to dance school and one we delve into during our conversation.

His experience of dance school left Olly with a lot of talent but not much confidence which he admits has taken him years to build up. We talk about Olly’s fantastic career as a performer and how he wouldn’t go back as he loves what he’s doing now with inspiring children, having fun & instilling hope in them when it comes to good prevailing over evil - again, ever the storyteller. Olly uses the words ‘playful, fantastical & brave’ to describe him & his origin story.

Check out Olly’s books and how you can donate, support & get involved over at popnolly.com. His latest book, Have You Ever Seen a Normal? is cute AF! Plus with Christmas coming up, they make the perfect presents!

“What are YOU going to do about it?” This was the response this week’s guest was met with from his manager after sharing some startling results from a Stonewall workplace survey. This was the catalyst for a plethora of work, initiatives & impact that Deon Pillay (he/him) has become known for.

Deon is the Head of Technology, Enablement & Governance for Legal & General Investment Management. He’s also chair of the firm’s Diversity Network and outside of the work, he is the Co-chair of InterInvest, a network of investment professionals, which drives LGBT+ equality across the investment management industry and the Diversity Projects LGBT strand. It’s these latter roles that have seen Deon recognised with an impressive line-up of accolades & awards. And whilst they’re thoroughly deserved, it’s not about that for Deon. His focus is very much around giving back & being the change he wants, & needed, to see.

Deon grew up in South Africa during Apartheid. He recalls being considered a very kind, hard-working kid with a love of nature. There was a pressure to conform - growing up in an Indian family included a strict upbringing & feeling like you were a child of the community so there was a real fear of causing judgement on your family should you not behave a certain way. Though moments of challenging his father’s strict parenting shaped the person he has become.

Culture, tradition & later workplace fears play major factors in Deon hiding his sexuality for many years causing him a great deal of pain & emotional distress. It was an emotional piece to camera in the workplace around coming out & his own lived experience that brought Deon to the world of inclusion. Fast forward to today, he’s out & proud - and his work continues. “Nobody was there for young Deon that looked like me”, he shares which galvanises his efforts, sacrificing time & effort to do what he does, as well as highlighting the importance of visibility.

Deon is generous with both. “What does it cost to give back?” he states. We talk about his advocacy for equity as well as kindness & humanity, championing & empowering those around us and showing. And he recognises the impact that he’s having which was refreshing to hear and he’s more than happy to share why & how it’s doing so to show others how action can lead to positive change. Awards are nice but it’s when he has young Indian people reaching out that really make it worth it for Deon. He uses these three words to describe himself & his origin story: Curious. Supportive. Empathetic. All of which drives his allyship & determination.

Whilst committed to his efforts around DEI, he’s currently channelling his focus on his career in technology with particular interest in the impact of AI which we chat about. We also explore self care, the value he places on a growth mindset, the importance of calendar hygiene & spring cleaning our networks and the servant leadership he strives for. Oh & I get to meet Deon’s colourful pet parrot, Charlie, who brings him so much joy. There’s so many gems of wisdom in this episode - enjoy!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“I turned 30 this year and it has been the biggest block for me in terms of the next part of my life. I gave myself until my 30th. I was like, do what you want to do and then, by 30, I think it'll be time. And I fully expected, one way or another, to step off my life at 30. And I'm here still.”

Those were heart-wrenching words to hear during my conversion with Ben Pechey (they/them), my wonderful guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ But they’re actually packed with hope for the future, relief that they’re ok following a recent serious health scare & appreciation for their own hard work & legacy. A happy childhood up until around aged 4 turned into a relentless & prolonged experience of bullying until his late teens - something Ben has accepted but has left deep, emotional trauma. It was only at university studying fashion marketing where they found a sense of belonging. As well as their passion, determination & community.

Despite having zero plans moving forward, Ben feels privileged to still be here and committed to seeing how things go. I know I’m not not the only one who is grateful they’re still here…

Ben is an exceptional human who brings warmth, colour & authenticity to everything they do. They’re the author of two beautiful books - The Book of Non-Binary Joy and Your Gender Book - which provide education, guidance, support & love to non-binary, trans+ & gender non-conforming individuals & are written with such heart in Ben’s unique & nurturing manner & voice. I love Ben’s bitesize Queer History Lessons on social media - they’re edutainment at its best for informing us about LGBTQ+ history and their TedX talk on trans+ & non-binary joy is STUNNING. You should go watch it immediately.

As a writer, public speaker & content creator, Ben holds the audience close. And doesn’t let go. They use these to describe

This episode is hard to listen to in places as we cover a lot of sensitive & triggering topics, as mentioned, including bullying, mental health & feeling like there is no way out. Please take care of yourself whilst listening & take a break if needed.

As much as there we navigate trauma, there’s also a lot of joy - and Ben’s work really emphasises the need to tap into that. We chat gender expression, fashion & event hosting, including Ben’s gorgeous exchange with Davina McCall on stage. Plus Section 28, Sesame Street & other cultural references, such as our mutual love of Scandal & Olivia Pope, and being the Lorraine Kelly of the trans+ community!

“It’s not been an easy journey but it’s a journey I’d do again in a heartbeat. I know why I’m here & I don’t think there’s a lot of people that can say ‘I know why I’m on the planet right now’. I do. And what a blessing to know that.”

This statement gave me chills during my chat with this week’s guest, Cynthia Fortlage, for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Cynthia (she/her) is referring to her mission to teach 1 billion people about acceptance by the year 2050 - which she describes herself as an “audacious goal”. And you’ll hear in the episode, she’s got the determination, passion & drive to see it through!

Cynthia is Belfast-born, Canadian-raised and living in London right now. She’s a globally recognised gender diversity educator & consultant with a 30+ year background in tech. As a white lesbian woman with a trans+ history, Cynthia shares how she was a feminist activist before becoming an LGBTQ+ leader. She uses her C-suite leadership & personal lived experience, along with a love of storytelling, authenticity & creative approach to do what she does best - promoting the crucial notion of acceptance without understanding. She’s not afraid to be tongue in cheek or uncomfortable either and discussing how she operates in a corporate setting, she says ‘I’m the girl you can ask anything’. The most common questions relate to her relationship with her, now grown-up, children - which we also discuss. Having worked with over 500 organisations worldwide, her inspiring track record when it comes to her work & impact speaks for itself.

Her gender journey has been the most straightforward one she’s been on whilst the rest, Cynthia describes as ‘squiggly’. Cynthia is an open book during this conversation. We discuss her early life - from gender exploration, realisation & origins of her name to simply having ‘no idea how to be a man’ - and subsequently how this led to years of mimicking & masking, personally & professionally. She shares how for over 40+ years, she thought she was a cross dresser until she discovered the trans+ community. Cynthia describes the first 28 years of her marriage as magical until she came out & could no longer be the person those around her wanted her to be. We dive into the grief, loss & freedom that came from that when suddenly she found herself living along aged 50 - including being able to share & accept love from those around her.

On top of all this, Cynthia is writing 4 books too, all part of that huge goal & plans for the future. She’s looking for a publisher too! “I’m aspiring to be someone that I’m still not yet. And that’s the journey called life”. This conversation was incredible. We do discuss challenging topics including suicide & mental health so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Want to get in touch with Cynthia & work with her? Contact her via LinkedIn or visit: https://www.cynthiafortlage.com

It’s not every day you get to have a chat with one of the most well-known, loved, dedicated and impactful LGBTQ+ activists in the country. Marc Thompson (he/him) has been a HIV awareness & LGBTQ+ rights activist for over 3 decades. He’s also a highly sought after thought leader and specialist in health promotion & education around sexual health, an advocate for Black LGBTQ+ communities, public speaker & creative.

Marc proudly describes himself “Brixton to the bone” and he’s lived all over South London but Lambeth is very much home & always has been. Preserving and celebrating London’s queer history is another passion of Marc’s too - a Londoner & someone has been at the forefront of advocacy & campaigning for years, he has a lot of stories to share. Especially his own…

I always ask my guests to take me back to what ‘little them’ was like. Well, little Marc actually had the nickname Little Marc (due to a friend being Big Marc). Marc might have been a small kid but he was incredibly confident, outgoing & creative. He shares how this came from being surrounded by parents & family who championed, loved & protected him. We talk about his upbringing a lot in this episode including his parents’ separation which he feels was influenced by him coming out as gay. His home with his mum became a safe space for Marc to be himself as well as somewhere his friends could do the same.

At 17, just a couple of years after coming out, Marc was diagnosed with HIV. What followed was an incredibly dark period but one that found him delivering talks in small community groups. Thus the start of his illustrious career which has seen Marc work for organisations such as Terrence Higgins Trust, The Love Tank CIC & Positively UK as well as co-founding Prepster & BLKOUT.

“Activism found me” says Marc. He shares what he describes as his ‘Damascus Moment’ in 1997 whilst speaking at a rally in Washington where he remembers vividly thinking “I was infected to do what I’m doing”. He still recalls the phone call in which he shared this with his mum to which she said something to the tune of ‘Don’t be ridiculous’ but probably thought he was right.

Marc has recently taken his career in a new & different direction as the Lead Commissioner for the London HIV Prevention Programme. He admits he’ll miss the grassroots feels of his previous work though he’s excited about a different pace and a bit of peace whilst still using all of his experience, knowledge & passion acquired over the last 30+ years. Plus his passion. “I’m a fighter” he declares, “because the battle is still there”. It shines through and Marc beams when he talks about inspiring young Black men, his community & the proudest moments from campaigns to projects to his legacy. I remember seeing Marc’s bespoke artwork messaging for a TFL campaign on the tube back in 2020 “Black Men Loving Black Men is a revolutionary act”. His creativity, insight & vision is an ongoing phenomenal legacy.

‘Small but Mighty’ are the three words Marc uses to describe him and his origin story. We chat about smart activism, family, life lessons & success, what contentment feels like, Marc’s dog Beau & more. This conversation was everything & more - ENJOY!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion have always been at the heart of her career and Marie-Helene Tyack (she/her) brings passion, joy & a deep commitment to what she does. Her 'day job' sees her leading on Diversity, Inclusion & Belonging at Allianz Commercial globally and her 'gay job' is as Chair of the Allianz Global Pride Board. She's set up an incredible 28 Pride networks within the Allianz Group around the world!

Her work has led to her being widely recognised in the DEI sector, LGBTQ+ community and beyond with a number of accolades & awards under her belt. It's clear she's not in it for that but admits that the recognition is nice - plus, it gives her that extra backing when asking for more support & provision to do her job.

This is the Marie-Helene we know now and it was a pleasure getting to know more about her story...

Growing up in Switzerland & moving to the UK at a young age was a big culture shock for Marie-Helene & her family which involved navigating language barriers, a shift in family dynamics and school life. When speaking to her family about this podcast, she shared how some of this still feels a little raw, especially for her mum. Little Marie-Helene was an incredibly happy child - and it's easy to see this now as Marie-Helene really is one of the warmest, most smiley people I've met.

But with most people's stories, it isn't always all sunshine. A car accident when she was 18 years old impacted her life hugely & physically leaving her with a strong sense of injustice. In her first relationship, Marie-Helene was raped by her girlfriend at the time - something she buried for a long time before she sought support. We'd like to put a trigger warning to anyone listening who might be affected by this - take a break/ turn it off and come back to it as needed. There are contact details for Galop* at the bottom of these shownotes. This is part of her story which she's very open about and we speak about Marie-Helene's healing journey and her plea for anyone who has experienced any such incident of abuse historically to know it's never too late to reach out for help.

We cover queer representation, including a trip down memory lane for Marie-Helene with Channel 4's Brookside and it's daring lesbian storyline through to what we see on screen today. For many LGBTQ+ people growing up, this visibility provides comfort, reassurance & hope; often helping us to tackle shame, internalised homophobia & isolation. We also touch on life lessons & Marie-Helene's 'cocoon of love' with her wife & dog.

'Passionate. Determined. Little-Miss-Happy' are the words that Marie-Helene uses to describe herself & her origin story - you'll hear why throughout! Enjoy and again, please take of yourself whilst listening.

Galop - the LGBTQ+ anti-abuse charity - has been working with LGBT+ victims and survivors of abuse and violence for more than 40 years. They provide a range of support services and you can get in touch with them here.