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Lee and Simon enter the Christmas spirit by discussing fart walking. Simon reads Lee a brief story, they discuss a plan to move things and Lee has an airport encounter.

Things covered: Determination to continue, Simon being a Christmas grinch, saying Happy Solstice, putting clothes down in different rooms, Lee in Portugal (hence poppy microphone), fart walking, Bob Whalley's suggestions (and drunken guest appearance), flight attendants' crop dusting, David Sedaris stories (sadness and meanness), not talking to people on airplanes, post-prandial walks, reading a (bread) story to Lee, the song of sourdough, Simon has a follower (no that's not right, it's Lil), physical (analogue) emojis, getting stuff (and what stuff) from Coventry to Sardegna, the first item on a list, emptying your pockets as you go through security, Lee gets a pat down in airport security, back to back meetings in full sun, the tupperware container sky in the UK, a Friends episode (doing things slowly = sexier), airport feedback, smelly toilets (which is how they are supposed to be), Bob asking L&S to do ASMR, cooking for guests in Lisbon, porridge cooked overnight, Bob and Lee going to a restaurant for Christmas.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon talk about their bodily 'tells' regarding stress, then digress into a conversation about fashion before a surprise guest appearance.

Things covered: A bodily tic and noticing habits, lip balm, Jon Kabat-Zinn "we are being breathed", work stress, breath, holding back tears, trait anxiety and recipes for heart attacks, Bob's stressors are different, the stress of travelling (and leading up to travelling), airports being designed to bring out the worst in people, Lee's new blue headphones, Simon being able to hear himself, replacing the battery on Bose headphones for £200, "Buy Now" documentary (Netflix), e-waste, Karl Marx and deskilling the work force, Lee's new Payntr Harris Twead overcoat, Boglioli Milano, Loewe electronics and Loewe spanish fashion hour, Lee not buying anything again, unnecessary food, Percy Pigs, Simon's Marshmallow Test failings, the resources required to produce 'junk' food, Tony's Chocolonely chocolate, Bob Whalley makes a guest appearance (at remove, lean in to hear) and comes up with a suggestion or three for next week's episode, plus mukbanging and fart walking.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon start with a bit of follow-up before droping into a conversation about human resources and being in conversations that are not what we think they are.

Things covered: Lee sings Simon a song, some follow up re Simon's TikTok job, IBAN numbers, foreign exchange trading, Irene Miller's FX chops, why Irene passed out last week (fanmail from Midlifing's resident Doctor Corbetron), Strictly Come Dancing research, anger at Bruce Forsyth, BBC spending money on EDI agenda, OfCom, Candoco Dance Company, human resources, Scooby Doo, Wayne's World, paradigm shifts (see link below), sending emails while naked, legal arse covering, Lee running a little hot, body temperature in general, Lee's contradictions, lighthouse keepers, embarrassing climb-downs, showering with a t-shirt on just in case, colleagues who you have never met, mandatory training at work, PREVENT training, radicalisation, intimacy co-ordination, Simon zipping up, interoception land, Simon's internet broke.

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Related links (and necessary corrections):

• Ship vs lighthouse paradigm shift: https://www.deseret.com/2023/12/14/23953259/paradigm-shift-families-faith/

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon meets up with an old academic friend and it sparks a conversation between Lee and Simon about having a plan B (which might involve collaborating with TikTok).

Things covered: Lee's Apple Watch, meeting a proper academic, having a Plan B, going to the cinema, doxing, a letter from TikTok, content moderation, PTSD from content moderation, generating dance content, Lee's grant winning capabilities, Bob and Lee's Plan B (involves houses), Lee's Mum's hospital visit, real midlifing content, Lee's Mum's health, the Silent Generation, clown face emoji, silly cows (gendered), passing out in the bathroom, "my knickers my knickers" (and having a cold butt on the floor), stories from Lee's parents being necessary for Midlifing, memories (and things) from our parents (including from a distance), the 'fixing' and solidity of parents, grief.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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After keeping some content in his pocket for some time Lee springs a question on Simon about touch and fondness.

Things covered: Simon being able to move bodies, Lee's content about touch and fondness, Lee's love for Jefrey, consent, touch being less appropriate, because HR, Simon's dance training and making contact with people all the time, newborns who are not held, Simon asking a PhD student to touch them, things gained and lost regarding consent, dropping a consent grenade, Simon touching people far less than he used to, Lee's actor training and feeling emotions in and through the body, third eye, root chakra, third eye blind, a hangover from being a fat kid, deep insecurity about one's body, Simon hugging male cousins in NZ, the rigidity of make hugs, the back pat, not to be the first person to leave the hug, the nature of hugging, air kissing in Italy, physical intimacy in NZ that is coded in violence, Lee's story about 3 spanish boys on the train (belly prodding), physical contact at work.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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In part 2 of a two-parter Simon and Lee carry on (obviously) from last week and get lost (and het up) discussing misogyny.

Things covered: voting with our own best interests, the ruling classes, the feminist narrative, misogyny, Bob going shopping for batteries, skin hunger after COVID, getting closer and closer, women and fear, more misogyny, seeing ourselves in other men, rape culture, consent, 16 Candles, The Breakfast Club, Lee's huge fondness for horror films, the final girl (the girl who survives), Nightmare on Elm Street (spoilers), Star Wars (briefly, also BIG spoiler), violence, the responsibility of men to be small, Jefrey waking up early on the weekends, Lee's face has two settings (Binary Face Miller), Lee's age (he's 5 years younger than Simon), Hannah Arendt, to make monsters of others, recognising degrees of humanity, Eichmann trial (in Israel, not Nuremberg), how to edit this essay, saying goodbye.

Correction: Eichmann was tried in Israel in 1961, not in post-war trials in Nuremberg.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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In part 1 of a two-parter Simon and Lee start off (inevitably) with an apartment update, some elongated preamble, check in post US election, and voting in our own best interests (or not).

Things covered: Photoshop vs CAD models, learning 3D modelling, planning a kitchen (again), apartment update, Bob and Lee making a list of all the things they are going to do on their week off, camping in one's own place, podcast relationships, parasocial relationships, Colin and Johnny's podcast, Lee asks for feedback from listeners we don't know, US election aftermath, Simon's upcoming 4 year hiatus from all news, Lee's weekly team meetings (that happen every week), remembering Boris Johnson (and him dancing at a wedding), Simon tries to remember something (again), gently touched on erectile dysfunction, things we haven't talked about (not bowel movements for instance), Corbetron's rubbish joke about erectile dysfunction, Simon keeps trying to remember something, realising that Boris was very popular which was revealing about the UK, Hilary in 2016, Kamala being competent, middle-aged white men liking Trump, humans are just sophisticated bees.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon seeks some advice from Lee about keeping things in confidence, and then they talk about what our work colleagues really think of us.

Things covered: A messed up beginning riddled with technological issues and two different audio streams, Sennheiser headphones, Sony headphones, photoshopping floor plans (apartment update), Lee's Dad flipping houses, renovations from another country, Ian Dury and the Blockheads (Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick), the rhythm method, a drummer in the room as a form of contraception, a conversation in confidence, burning bridges with everybody, overestimating one's capacity to intervene productively, Simon's nickname Clunk, a hilarious way for Lee to be an arsehole, Jefrey (the dog) trying to eat a croissant from a 2 year old, Lee being an excellent Agony Uncle, Lee singing musical tunes, staff away days (that aren't away), saying things we like about colleagues, emerging themes about what Simon's colleagues think of them, Simon's capacity to organise, baked goods at work, cupboard love, lightness of touch at work, being funny at work, hypothetically what Lee's colleagues would say about him, people pleasing, 360 reviews.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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