| L E G E N D S: ICONS. | cover art

| L E G E N D S: ICONS. |

| L E G E N D S: ICONS. |

By: Three Initiates
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{Enter The Multiverse}

Copyright 2025 by Three Initiates
Episodes
  • {Expressions In Opulence}

    {Expressions In Opulence}
    Jul 21 2025
    MARTHA STEWART is having a bake sale when literally ALL HELL breaks loose MARTHA STEWART (sighing in disappointment, tossing down her spatula firmly) “I wanted it to be fun.” Do you sleep with a gun? Do you sleep with a gun? What is done in the dark, Comes to light just for fun What is done in the night, Tends to turn to the day Do you sleep with a gun? Do you sleep? Do you pray? It is early 19th century and almost nothing technologically speaking has become available, but the small handgun seems to remain materialized; it is a smith and wesson pistol about one hundred years beyond the time itself, but unlike the traveler's other possessions, it has remained in tact. The storm and dreary rain continues to fall in its heavy downpour of the blue forest's night, the moonlight and the lightning storm almost competing with one another for the luminescence of it. Inside, the candles have gone out–and though it is dark and increasingly wet outside, some rain even drifting in through the cracks in the roof and pooling in the floorboards, trouble approaches the man, who does not not sleep, clutching the pistol as if holding a lovers hand–tight, and with designation. Do you sleep with a gun? Do you roll out of bed with the angst And the tales of the ancient Rolling around with the words in your mind All the words in the world in your heart But no courage? Do you dream? Do you dream all the kingdoms and castles in the sky? All the knowing when you do close your eyes You're soon to die Do you nightmare? Do you wonder why? Do you sleep with a gun? Do you sleep in a cage? Do you dream in the rage of anger, bleeding Wishing courage Wanting stardom Do you whisper our words in the morrow Do you love all but one in the cottage? {Enter The Multiverse} Lil Bitz I luh this dude so much. I just wanna bone em. That's it. Like a bone-in chicken wing. Thank you very much! II'm a real fan girl like that. I'm like “I'll follow you anywhere.” “Ohhh my gooooosh” It's a real thing. But sometimes I get lost in the moment, cause, you know, his songs are like 10 minutes long, and I start to thinking: Like omg it could get serious. Like if we banged and then it was effing magnificent– Cause i'm fully obsessed with him and his sausage. I've integrated them both into my mantras, so– It could happen. So sometimes I get lost in thought and i'm like “Omg what if we just hardcore banged and then fell in love like, Then we'd move in together, right–?” And then i think to myself “no , no–that's too much because actually, i'm quite scared of him.” Lol Like even if we banged a lot, and we were living in a large ass house, and I were cooking him canadian bacon and everything, I think i'd still be scared of him. I'm like “we can't be hanging in a large ass house– I will straight dissappear.” “I will hide from him.” I will hide. And he'd get sick of that shit, and he'd bet trying to get rid of me, but he can't– cause he can't find me! I'm like “this house is ginormous (lol, ginormau5) HAHAHA I WILL HIDE! He will not be able to find me. I will hide from him; like the cat. “It's just you and me, kitty” The difference is you'll find the cat at mealtime. Not me, tho. You can griddle your own canadian bacon sir. L E G E N D S I used to work at Tubby's…then I lost a hundred pounds… Congratulations! Not really. They laid me off because I was no longer technically a “big beautiful woman” But you're still a very beautiful woman. So i've heard. But that doesn't make me smart or talented. That's not true. Actually it does! My only skills and experience are in pastry chefing and topless table dancing. Well, pastry chefing–that's good! Maybe you can get a job at a bakery somewhere! No, pastry cheffing and topless table dancing; I can only do them at the same time! Oh. It's how I was trained… I see. –it's a certificate program. {Enter The Multiverse) Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved
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    1 hr and 20 mins
  • The Ace. (Instrumental) -Ū.

    The Ace. (Instrumental) -Ū.
    Jul 21 2025
    Ugh, it's a fuckin riddle. *sad eyes* No fair. *super sad eyes* Super no fair *Super duper sad eyes* {Enter The Multiverse} YO! LETS GO TO TUBBY'S! YEEEAAAAAHHHHH! ITS TUBBY TUESDAYS!!! “TUBBY TUESDAYS?!” “Tubby Tuesdays” WELCOME TO TUBBY'S–I hope you're having a very Tubby day! We are now! Well, that's what I like to hear! Happy Tubby Tuesday everybody, right this way! All the tables are booths! …uh…okay. Before: What the fuck is Tubby Tuesdays? Oh, Tubby's? It's a desert buffet and adult video game arcade with an all-you-can-drink bar on tuesdays. Oh, well, that's… –and the world's first BBW-Only Afterhours Strip Club. Oh! –after sundown. Sundown?! Fraid so. TARTAR SAUCE! MORE TARTAR SAUCE! Why on EARTH would you eat tartar sauce on a waffle!? IT's a brioche waffle, okay–and the tartar sauce is candied bread pudding custard glaze-based. Oh! Gross! Its not gross! It goes dope on brioche waffles! I've got to get out of here. What!? It's not even sundown! Oh my actual gosh. I have to find that envelope before things get even– WHO'S READY FOR BRALESS HOT CHOCOLATE! *gasps* BUT IT'S NOT EVEN SUNDOWN! Check yo watch honey, because i do believe it's daylight savings time! Oh why yes, I do have the sudden urge to “spring” forward! I'm leaving!! That's okay! UGH! Hey wait– What. .[beat} Are you sure you don't want any hot chocolate? UGHHHH! It's braless! Yeah, a/he was under my Christmas tree with flashing lights on and everything. Man, you got Chris Kringled?! What! That's a thing! How does everybody know that's a thing but me? Was there presents? Yeah there was— wait how'd you know. Everybody knows about Chris Kringling, brother. I didn't! It's a web trend. What! On where? I have all the On WeMax! What is WeMax?! You don't know? I don't. A Bullet for my Valentine— I love myself. Man, I don't even know which mixtape that came out of. Right! Suddenly, When digging through the bullet in my brain, The finger in my skull Reminded me the pain I live with everyday And I Cannot put away This is my Suicidal thoughts My creeping Homicidal mind But I don't want to off you all I just want to end my time On earth So long A GUNSHOT rings throughout the tightly clenched red brick walls of somewhere in New York; it seems to echo forever as if the city itself were empty and cold, ricocheting off the sky with a ring into the air— the sound making a journey into space. Girl, you talk too much So go and level up Shut the fuhhhck up Not just the front door I'm not going on a shooting spree The only one I want is me The only one I shot is me The only one I got is me All of a sudden I feel really good, But also really bad— Like I'm high or something Just on the verge of uncontrollably crying And I know I'm definitely about to lose my shit But I'm off a little, and also on a little Like something just kicked in and I don't know what I haven't taken anything— Just fried potatoes in coconut oil, And I've been eating differently But getting through the stress with the comfort of simple products and the massive loads of work I've been sorting… I don't know. I feel horrible, but also like I just woke up—like if I sleep I'll be dreaming some place I ain't awake really because I'm aching… Achey at the thought of being up and left to ponder What is really up with my mind I'm longing— Thinking swiftly but also sickly of how I'm decaying, Same thing every day but it only gets a little longer; And although time itself is getting shorter, It still goes on, and I'm mourning everything I had to know, But now just seems forgotten Stolen Grace and getting awkward, And really just on the wrong show, A form of thoughts, impossible conglomerate And really only waiting for my greying thunderclouds to roll in Storms upon the wing of a swaying plane As if it may just falter, But all hope knows it really won't, And we'll all land safely. —Tom Hanks. Sometimes my life doesn't make any sense: Lil bitz Remember when you were a kid, And the mall was the greatest place you could think of going? That was the day— “Let's go to the mall!” Then you grow up broke, And I'm like “Holy shit— “the mall”? When was the last time I even went to “the mall”? Fuck that noise. The mall is where I'm not going. The only thing that's going on in that place is tAkiNG mY mOnEY. Fuck that noise. I ain't going to the mall. I don't need anything from these places. fuck the mall. The mall as a broke adult is arguably the WORST place you can go. “Ohh, what's in here” “Don't matter— Do you got money?” “That's right.” Fuck the mall: Arguably the worst place, maybe. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ...
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    2 mins
  • {“Ah. We Meet Again.”}

    {“Ah. We Meet Again.”}
    Jul 20 2025
    CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then. L E G E N D S CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT...
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    58 mins
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