Hey White Women cover art

Hey White Women

Hey White Women

By: Daniella Mestyanek Young
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 In this insightful and candid conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young, a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely leadership, joins Rebecca, known as White Woman Whisperer on TikTok and Patreon, to delve into their experiences and revelations about cult dynamics, white supremacy, and systemic racism. Daniella, who grew up in the notorious Children of God cult and later served in the military, shares her journey of understanding and deconstructing white supremacy as a pervasive cult. Rebecca, a Black Jewish woman, discusses her own realizations about systemic racism and the similarities between white supremacy and cult behavior. Together, they explore the complexities of deprogramming from these ingrained systems, the importance of acknowledging privilege, and the power of vulnerability in fostering genuine understanding and change. This dialogue sheds light on the personal and societal challenges of breaking free from cult-like ideologies and the ongoing work required to dismantle oppressive systems.2024 Philosophy Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING

    Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
    Jun 26 2025
    In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially around cultural appropriation—can become a form of self-centered paralysis that stalls genuine connection and accountability. From craft-covered couches to the politics of "fancy" china, the episode moves fluidly between the personal and political, ultimately calling for white women to stop asking for permission and start listening, intervening, and acting with intention. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website The White Woman Whisperer Patreon The White Woman Whisperer TikTok Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0 Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ Takeaways Daniella reflects on her upbringing in Mexico and the differing perceptions of law enforcement compared to the U.S.The conversation highlights the systemic issues faced by Black individuals in America, drawing parallels to Daniella's experiences.Daniella shares a personal story about a court case that illustrates biases in the legal system.The discussion touches on the concept of privilege and how it affects perceptions of justice.Daniella expresses frustration over the entitlement some feel in the justice system based on their background.The conversation explores the complexities of cultural appropriation versus appreciation.Daniella emphasizes the importance of understanding cultural influences in a respectful manner.The role of white women in discussions about race and privilege is examined, highlighting the need for allyship.The impact of social media on amplifying diverse voices and narratives is acknowledged.The conversation concludes with a call for more authentic storytelling that includes diverse perspectives. Listening to Black women is crucial for understanding cultural narratives.The concept of the 'every woman' can broaden perspectives on literature and experiences.Mentorship plays a significant role in personal growth and understanding.Cultural dynamics shape individual identities and experiences.Peeling back layers of identity can reveal authentic selves.Narcissism is a necessary part of self-discovery and expression.Performance can be a powerful tool for identity exploration.Community engagement fosters connection and understanding.Navigating cultural sensitivities requires awareness and humility.The burden of perfectionism can hinder personal growth and authenticity. Chapters 00:00 Cultural Perspectives on Law Enforcement and Trust 02:50 Privilege, Justice, and Systemic Inequities 05:47 The Complexity of Cultural Appropriation 08:45 Navigating Identity and Language in Diverse Cultures 11:37 The Impact of Conditional Love on Relationships 14:31 Redefining Home and Community Spaces 17:34 Fairy Tales and Societal Expectations 24:17 The Charm of Storytelling 25:07 Reimagining Classic Tales 26:29 The Quest for Authentic Representation 28:06 Cultural Appropriation vs. Appreciation 30:06 Navigating Whiteness and Black Voices 31:56 The Role of White Women in Amplifying Black Voices 34:08 The Importance of Listening to Black Women 35:56 Breaking Down Barriers in Storytelling 37:58 The Journey of Self-Discovery 40:41 Embracing Authenticity and Vulnerability 44:53 The Power of Community and Connection 51:13 Navigating Cultural Sensitivity 53:46 Understanding Community Dynamics 58:04 The Complexity of White Womanhood 01:01:24 The Burden of Perfectionism 01:08:03 The Power of Community and Spirituality Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity

    Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
    Mar 27 2025
    In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of identity, perception, and the societal expectations placed on individuals, particularly in the context of race and gender. They discuss the nuances of expertise, the burden of proof faced by marginalized voices, and the armor people wear to navigate societal pressures. The dialogue delves into the dynamics of community, the impact of white supremacy, and the importance of embracing diverse narratives without the need for validation from others. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website The White Woman Whisperer Patreon The White Woman Whisperer TikTok Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0 Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJI Takeaways There's a fear to be had of these black spaces.Defensiveness is a tenant of white supremacy.White women are the men of women.You expect certain things from those closest to you.It shouldn't have to be this hard.You can use whiteness as a shield.We need to talk about the trauma.You think I'm going to give you the formula in 10 minutes?I am not a dictionary. I have expertise.The dynamics of enabling and abuse are complex. Perception often overshadows reality in social interactions.Expertise is frequently questioned based on identity rather than merit.The burden of proof can disproportionately affect marginalized individuals.Armor is a metaphor for the protective identities people adopt in society.Cults create a false sense of superiority and control over narratives.Community support is crucial for validating experiences and identities.Neurodivergence can complicate social interactions and expectations.Critiques of white supremacy can be misconstrued as personal attacks.Understanding one's own biases is essential for personal growth.Embracing nuance allows for a richer understanding of diverse experiences. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Whiteness and Black Spaces 03:27 Defensiveness and Its Implications 06:23 The Complexity of Feminism and Race 09:21 Understanding the Role of White Women in Systems of Power 12:18 Language, Shame, and Cultural Sensitivity 15:03 The Dynamics of Enabling and Abuse 18:01 The Personal Impact of Systemic Oppression 21:09 Healing and Accountability in White Feminism 28:32 Understanding Privilege and Responsibility 31:09 Deconstructing Whiteness and Its Impact 34:21 The Complexity of Identity and Experience 39:15 The Perception of Criminality and Redemption 42:14 Navigating Online Interactions and Defensiveness 55:00 The Nuances of Critique and Community Support 58:39 Navigating Perceptions and Misunderstandings 01:01:12 Cultural Dynamics and Language Barriers 01:04:12 The Burden of Whiteness and Main Character Energy 01:07:41 Deconstructing Armor and Identity 01:10:45 Perception vs. Reality in Professional Spaces 01:16:49 The Complexity of White Saviorism 01:19:50 American Exceptionalism and Cult Mentality Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 25 mins
  • Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable

    Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
    Jun 5 2025
    In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how spontaneous joy can be its own form of resistance. Whether you’re unpacking your own experience in high-control spaces or just trying to navigate late-stage capitalism without losing yourself, this episode is a resonant, no-holds-barred deep dive into the systems that shape us—and how to start unlearning them. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website The White Woman Whisperer Patreon The White Woman Whisperer TikTok Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_ Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Takeaways Discomfort is not a crisis—growth often requires sitting with uncertainty instead of seeking immediate solutions. Future faking and love bombing are common tactics in cults, corporations, and toxic relationships—and recognizing them can help reclaim autonomy. Obedience-based parenting trains children to perform compliance rather than develop critical thinking and emotional safety. Systems of control thrive in chaos—cult-like groups gain power when people are vulnerable, overwhelmed, or craving certainty. Spontaneous joy and bodily autonomy are radical acts, especially for those recovering from high-control environments. Not all mentorship is healthy—if you’re seeking someone to tell you what to do with your life, you might be looking for a cult leader, not a guide. Legitimacy doesn't equal goodness—the fact that an institution or belief is normalized doesn’t mean it’s healthy or ethical. Children and survivors are often the first to sense danger—trusting their perceptions can be a powerful tool for breaking cycles of harm. Everyone has an agenda—even self-help creators. Ask: What are they getting out of sharing this with me? Chapters 00:00 Navigating Change and Comfort Zones 06:57 The Role of Authority and Decision-Making 12:55 Exploring Minority Cults and Their Impact 18:35 Parenting Styles and Cult Influence 21:47 The Language of Cults and Control 24:54 Self-Help and Personal Empowerment 27:45 Finding Your Path and Making Choices 31:03 The Necessity of Mental Toughness 32:12 The Military's Role in Trauma 33:38 Recruitment and Deception in the Military 35:16 The Dangers of Transparency and Information Scarcity 36:51 The Hindsight Bias in Cult Awareness 38:27 Signs of Childhood Trauma 39:45 The Impact of Parental Awareness 42:02 The Absence of Joy in Cult Upbringing 43:41 Cultural Differences in Expressing Joy 45:45 The Control of Spontaneity 47:40 Fear and Control in Parenting 49:24 The Flaws in Parenting Philosophy 51:23 Misinterpretation of Child Behavior 53:42 The Challenge of Non-Obedience in Parenting 56:11 The Dangers of Unquestioning Obedience 58:16 The Importance of Being Present 59:40 The Agenda Behind Self-Help Narratives 01:02:30 Understanding Incentives in Self-Help and Coaching 01:05:29 The Role of Content Creators and Their Motivations 01:08:18 Exploring Cult-like Structures in Parenting and Religion 01:11:17 The Impact of Militarization on Identity and Culture 01:13:54 Deconstructing Whiteness and Finding Individual Identity Produced by Haley Phillips
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    1 hr and 23 mins
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