To preface, all the discussions of my personal dialogues to my inner conversations of detachment, objectivity, reflection, and essentially, a humbling and grounding in truth, are ALL practices I have done with myself. I see and act as I do with myself. Yes, I am constantly grounding and catalyzing myself in this cut throat way. Yes, I openly detach and realign myself by being this hard on myself. I am even extremely hard on myself, mainly because the standards I set for myself are exponentially exaggerated in contrast to what I cannot control (anything outside of my energy). With myself, this is how I practice the art of constant expansion and openness, for the sake of perspective and respect for my gifts and skills. When I say I do not care, I mean that focusing on what I cannot control is dead weight on my energy when I could be sharpening my tools, which is in my control. I expect greatness for myself only, therefore my standards must be higher and constantly reassessed, humbled, and open for questioning in order to make it stronger and more versatile and adaptable. This is my empire, the way I rule myself as I am all I can control.

...

The need for the ego is essentially for the essence of expression. I have understood and broken through the layers of my past limiting beliefs that catered to an imbalanced egoic expression of such lack. When I have been building my ego after the deconstruction of my held beliefs, I have learned that the aligned expression of my new belief systems encourage freedom, expansion, and showing all parts of my soul.

I have been described as a black cat, and I take that as a compliment. It has been interesting to see the reactions my newfound aligned ego to receive a further reflection of "scary, intimidating" when in reality, my intentions are to flow freely without obstacle, to allow my capacity to be seen, and to allow again all parts of myself to play and be seen. These facets of my ego are all the frequencies of my resonance presenting itself and played to match the rhythm of the environment, like an instrument.

Caring about what I cannot control, like the perception of my energy, does not affect me, yet is another opportunity of observational study. In the reflection of my energy, I am able to detach from the emotional attachments of "worth" and "measurements" in order to see the attachments as a reflection of the energetic path of the environment and use it in order to release other reactants in order to portray my intention of "growth" and "expansion". Once I pursue the analysis and give the energy the elements it needs to cater a new reaction, I am not attached to how it is being perceived yet trusting that what I am doing is the highest form of love, one that catalyzes the deconstruction of a limiting belief. This is not something that is my responsibility, therefore, my intent is fulfilled and that is out of my control. I am not sorry, but instead it is a love for the environment's expansion by catalyzing it towards its potential, for me, it's practicing a skill that I use to fulfill my soul purpose.

With me, remember, it's not personal, instead, it is intended to catalyze you to see your potential more. How? By catalyzing the chaos or, objectively, the essential deconstruction of what is holding you back from seeing your soul path. This practice expands my own understanding of my tools and how to use them. This is a mutually beneficial intent I hold, and to me, that makes sense.

I love you;)

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i LOVE you

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I love you!

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you can book a reading with me with the link above :3

There are times in life that I fought for this feeling, not even knowing what it was. Through sickness and health, til death do us part, I was loyal to the vows I took towards this love, one veiled, unknown, miraculous, yet absolutely mesmerizing. A bride in size 7 shoes, a groom with hands that move, shape, and build. In my masculine energy I look at the feminine, and I see my shadowed love I have waited so long to show her face.

I am showing my face, my expression, my soul, as I wade through my recent findings, my Jugendliche, my detachment, my adoration, my gratuity, my recognition, and my story of faith in myself as a soul that listens to what life brings her and sees the gift, regardless of the attachments. This is the union of my soul, my personal celebration of being true to love, and finally being able to understand what it was that I did it all for.

I was not meant to suffer; I was meant to see what my spirit can do when it is brought circumstances to fail. It is undeniable, that I can rely on myself, that I BELIEVE in myself, so radically that in any situation, I am capable of overcoming negativity MY WAY. That I have seen my spirit grow so quickly because I believe that there are no mistakes, and an attempt at catastrophe has shown me that I have the power to catalyze what I am given into inner power.

Resilience of soul is a silent (h), a gift of heart we are meant to strengthen and evolve with, not against. My inner power is one I was given just the right circumstances and life to see, and life that can grow without light is not without but composed OF what it was denied. The power of choosing to grow stronger in the dark rather than resent the difficulty of what I was planted below, to use my circumstances to motivate me, inspire me, and practice my inner power to a point it is undeniable.

To a point my roots can break through rock.

I'm so grateful I listened to my heart, and it's a funny thing. I didn't know what it was I was doing, yet it didn't matter. The feeling of being true to my soul and my intuition was stronger in me than anything else, and I am loyal to what bears fruit, even if it takes time.

Even funnier, it was never another face I was meant to chase in this union I could feel. I understand now it is for a self-love that recognizes the beauty in both sides of me, masculine AND feminine. A pair that aligns for growth, the love of evolution, in both of my dualities, as the complimentary sides of myself that now want to work together, than apart.

Through the fogginess of an ending, lies a beginning. Til death do us part, and a death indeed. The death of division, a union of oneness within my imperfection and love for it, I come back ready to see what's next on my journey.

Let's see what this chapter brings :)

i LOVE you

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this is balance to me; allowing myself to be comfortable AND uncomfortable, allowing the masculine in my softness to knock you out if you aren't respecting my words, allowing my feminine to just not care about what i do not respect from hurtful energy, allowing myself to be freely and protecting my peace.

Do you hear me? PROTECT YOUR PEACE.

It's not so serious! It makes sense to me to turn my pretty little rings and gems towards a physical advance I do not want because I'll show them what a pretty feminine like me will not accept. I don't normalize violence, but I do normalize the attention that softness deserves. Softness is not weak, frail, nor fragile. Softness is a person with layers and layers and layers of protection, so let that fist land, let them talk, let them know the power it takes to be soft.

My kitty girls, it is hot when we can love freely and detach freely, allow that masculine within you to show up for you, knowing it doesn't make you any less feminine, yet it shows your BALANCE. I encourage feminines to learn to scrap, learn to walk away, and learn to enjoy their lives feeling secure. Whatever this means for ANYONE, not just people with dominant feminine energy, I encourage your peace to be safe. That starts with you, that starts with giving yourself the care and compassion you've always deserved because that is how worthy YOU are of it.

Allow yourself to show up to sweeten or to sour, don't let them tell you what it is they cannot control because those feelings are there to tell you more about the situation and whether or not it is aligned with you.

If that's someone crying home to mommy because the pretty soul that loves nature, animals, and silk was put in a position to show their claws?!?!?! SO BE IT.

Not your responsibility when you voice your boundaries; they either respect them or get sat outside of them.

i love you!

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tiktok: nathaliemaybe

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there is balance, and we can remain compassionate and understanding for others without walls by taking accountability, having self-awareness, and trusting ourselves more than other's opinions on what the truth really is. muah, also, call me in, put me in the ringer, i love flaunting my new gel set or manicure!

hi guys! it's time for a pod! this is the power i am going to keep calling on myself to radiate: self-love!!!

I had fear around putting myself on the internet, for my mask to be revealed and removed, yet in this way of freely expressing myself, I do embody the feeling of *freedom*.

No longer keeping this part of me masked, as I show up authentically online for myself and the world to watch, I have in me a renown appreciation for the amount of flexibility it brings me as I move through live in GENERAL. When I have nothing to hide, I move with clarity, so I'll show my energy, I'll show my *crazy*, my intuitive side, and my emotional empathic side as well. I'm showing you all my cards, and it's because there is no longer a game of me against another.

It's just me showing you the hand I was given by the unknown, and while I appreciate and celebrate mine, I hope you can begin to appreciate yours. It's never been a competition when it comes to our authenticity, there is nothing but "it is". My hand serves my way of life while yours follows suit ;)

I am many things, and I love that about me. I learned how strong our hearts are regardless of fear through my papa, and how no matter the circumstance, the love he expressed through fear still came from what his heart wanted and believed was right. I am grateful for such a life where I understand how rewarding hardship and pain may be to battle, yet as for my papa and I, we are both blessed to see that the growth it demands creates a new life, a work of art, the gift of a love that is meant to love through battles. This is a love you fight for, a love that has the quality of grit.

Again, I look down at my hand and pay a little more attention to this card today, as I go through the flow of how grateful I am to have been dealt it, past shame, past social norms, and towards humanity, I see the gift.

You're a gift, in your own unique way! I love you, and let's celebrate it!

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Don't fold your hand, show your hand. If you're scared, let me hold your hand. I love what you've been dealt with because it is so YOU. YOU are what make this hand, in my hand, SPECIAL! You give these cards meaning! To me, that is what means a LOT to me, you. HOW COOL! :3

A part of me that I've been battling to show is the side that has been perceived as crazy. It's been used against me to label me as words like "freak" and "psycho" and all those nasty words, but the truth is, it's part of me, my process, and my soul. I do things in my way because I know what works for me, and that also takes A LOT of practice and trial and error.

So, is my crazy actually crazy? In my eyes, no, but letting go of the fear of being seen means letting go of the fear of being perceived. I'll let you decide. I like to "feel big" and understand the feelings, but it takes a lot of reaching at straws when feelings come for your ego and egoic beliefs, so I give myself grace. My feelings have led me here, and that takes being able to feel them more than fear them, by seeing my feelings for what they are, and to see that the way I envision it tells me about the truth on my perception of my feelings...

Like this one: freedom

I perceived my freedom as something mythical, one that is in books and stories; I perceived it as impossible, yet I've felt it. Here is the dissonance between my soul and ego, there, to me, lies the key. I see my freedom and happiness as impossible in the worldview I have adopted to this point, so you know what? CHANGE IT (is what I tell myself).

It's not as crazy to me because it leads me through the unknown, towards greater happiness, by fine tuning my worldly perception to match the soul. That takes bold moves that aren't as bold when they are exactly what the feeling is guiding me to do. By following one outlet of this feeling, I am shown so many options on how to bring more reality to my egoic perception of my freedom by actually practicing it in real life.

No, I am not going to be a woodland creature/nymph; I am going to create more, follow this feeling, because the perception ALSO showed me that this was a space of unlimited potential, abundance, and the freedom to CREATE. It was a playground for creation, and while it was also perceived as something intangible, it still showed me the keys to how I move next.

Crazy or crazy intuitive? Crazy or emotional intelligence? Your move, but it doesn't change the fact that this is what works for me.

The truth about showing all of the parts of me is that they're not up for debate, this is me sharing something I love about myself again, knowing it has brought me much pain in the past, but that was when I cared.

So, what if I could just be seen for all of me? No, I am allowing myself to be seen for all of me.

That's the answer!

I love you!

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tiktok: nathaliemaybe

youtube: nathaliemaybe (is it still NatTheCat lol, don't know, but will check in tomorrow)

email: nathalie@thisilent.com

Hi guys! Good morning! This episode is also available on my youtube channel, so go check out the video on there if you wish to see me in a cottage core nightgown and a raging cowlick!

I felt fear in how "the truth about the girls i grew up with" episode felt after a few days, and instead of avoiding it, I faced it with compassion for myself. I spoke about my truth on an old friend, "Lena", that I recognized I still held resentment with. There are more truths to an experience, and at my core, a layer deeper where this experience lies in my heart, is the one I always manage to come home to. The truth of humanity, that we are allowed to be human, not just me but everyone.

Deep at my core, I change something I once saw as personal into universal by giving it the space I wanted to that experience, that energy, that person, that soul. I give it the space to be human. When I receive malicious intent, I see that it was never malicious. It was always afraid, scared, lost, and wishing to be seen. I see an ache to be accepted and loved in a way I felt in my heart, too.

I see a child that wants to be loved unconditionally, to be loved through flaws, to be loved for all of them.

So, I love them. I also love myself too, enough to accept that the love and compassion I hold for their humanity can be just as aligned when it is done from afar as it would be up close. I accept that all I can do is love, whether it manifests as grace or forgiveness or affection, and that I do not wish to change who they are. Humanity doesn't deserve to be seen in exchange for gain; to me, the humanity in us all is one that deserves the space to be as they are, right now, without feeling like love must be earned.

I love unconditionally by loving myself, to love myself enough to be the person I dreamed of accepting and loving me in the past when I was afraid of being wrong. I love unconditionally by being that person to others, as it heals my humanity when I feel it put another soul at ease because even more so, my inner child recognizes she was never alone in this experience.

The human experience, the one that deserves all forms of love without having to earn it.

i love you!

insta: nathalieswenson

tiktok: nathaliemaybe

yt: nathaliemaybe

email: nathalie@thisilent.com