"Love can't save us"

So, what can I say? I just love Riley Nash and this series! I actually started from the third book, and then went backwards to read, well listen, since it was an audiobook, the first one. At first, I didn’t like Victor and the way he behaved, especially around Ethan, who was always there to save him from himself. I could guess there was something in Victor’s past that made him behave that way, but I couldn’t understand exactly what it was. And this is one of the things I love the most in Riley Nash’s writing, the fact that you can never tell what’s behind a character or a story until the end. You just get hooked up from the story, and you just binge read/listen the book until the end.
Moreover, the narrators were excellent!
Great series! Absolutely recommended!

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Enthralling

Hold Me Under is the first book in the Water, Air, Earth, Fire series, and made me an instant fan of Riley Nash. This book, set in the contemporary world but with a fictional Olympic swimming team, ripped my heart out and then stuffed it back into my chest to beat rapidly with each word. I was completely unprepared for how much I’d be hooked to this story but at the same time, so on edge because I wanted so much for Victor and Ethan to get their happy ending but I had no idea how Riley was going to accomplish that. But that happy ending was perfection. Once I finished this book I went and immediately bought the audiobook for the second book in the series because I just didn’t want to say goodbye to these characters. I want to see glimpses of their happy lives as they heal and navigate the next phase of their journey. I’m also invested in Gray, one of the side characters in this book.

The audiobook was a duel narration with JF Harding and Stephen Dexter. I’m a huge fan of JF Harding, but I was not familiar with Stephen Dexter previously. Together, they did a fantastic job of narrating and voicing all the characters. I was hanging onto their every word and felt transported into the story. The audiobook production was also well done and overall I thoroughly enjoyed this listening experience.

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New to me author

Wow, what an introduction to a new author. It would be best if you were in a good headspace to listen to this. Both the main characters have flaws and have flaws—real-life people who may have made bad life choices in the distant past. Victor Lang is still hell-bent on ruining his life, even though most would have said he's already achieved that.

Ethan lands in Victor's world by choice, but he feels he has no choice.

The emotional ups and downs you go through as a reader can be intense.

Great narration by both narrators, Stephen Dexter is new to me, and JF Harding I have listened to once before. Both did exceptional jobs, but I had to speed up to 1.40 on Audible, which is usual for me.

Hold Me Under
Water, Air, Earth, Fire, Book 1
By: Riley Nash
Narrated by: J.F. Harding, Stephen Dexter
Series: Water, Air, Earth, Fire, Book 1
Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins

❤❤❤❤❤ Overall
🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧 Narration
📚📚📚📚📚 Story
Read at 1.40 speed on Audible

I received this audiobook for free from GRR at my request. My review is my opinion and an honest review - neither the author nor GRR influenced my opinion.

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Emotional read

This is a dark book. I LIKE dark books. This was my first Riley Nash and I have to say I leapt on the second book in the series, and have the third on my radar screen.

Victor had it all. A spot on the USA swim team heading to the Rio Olympics, several records under his belt, and a good chance to bring home the gold.

His fall from grace was ignominious at best. After testing positive for a banned substance, he slunk away to a mansion daddy bought him to live in a haze of hookups and increasingly despondent days.

Until the gardener falls into the pool.

Victor rescues the poor man, but, in the end, maybe it’s Ethan who will wind up saving him.

A confluence of events finds Victor and Ethan in Europe, pretending to be boyfriends. But what happens when fake becomes real? Is Victor up to the challenge of being partner for a man who has so many responsibilities? Or is he just going to be the jerk everyone expects him to be?

This book covers some dark themes, listed in the synopsis. I was intrigued enough and riveted – at first by the performances and, eventually, by the story. I wanted to see if Ethan and Victor could find their happily ever after.

Stephen Dexter is a good narrator and I enjoyed his performance. JF Harding is a stellar narrator and he did a great job too. This book might be dark, but it’s totally worth going to the dark place in order to get to the light.

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They’ll make you feel for sure

Make sure you have a full box of tissues nearby when you start this book. Though sometimes I felt it was mostly for shock value–a bit too much–I can’t deny it made me feel things.

Both main characters have drama tattooed on their forehead. On one hand, you have Ethan, who didn’t have much luck in life and dropped out of school to take care of his mother suffering from dementia. On the other hand, there’s Victor, former swimming prodigy and current fuck up with too much money and time on his hands. They couldn’t be more different–coming from different sides of the tracks, expecting something different from relationships, with opposite goals. Of course it’s unlikely they end up together. Until they’re forced into a fake relationship by Victor’s father.

They’re like puzzle pieces that should fit but are too covered in grime and dirt that they can’t see how they could. But their proximity during the fake relationship gig will make them come clean. They even end up seeing sides of themselves they never intuited.

Because it’s a dark romance, their relationship is still quite toxic, bathed in anger, self-loathing, and manipulation. Red flags abound. To be honest, it’s kind of a miracle that they get their happily ever after. Not sure co-dependency is the best foundation for a relationship. They make it work, though, and they grow up and change a lot by being together. In a way, they were the best thing that could happen to each other, even though the journey isn’t a peaceful one.

Victor is soon to be revealed as passive, almost a victim. His father orders him around like he’s his pet; his former teammates know no boundaries and he doesn’t correct them. There are hints at what happened to him, but the full extent is revealed near the end, and it’s a punch in the gut. As for Ethan’s situation, we know right from the start that he’s in denial and it’ll never get better, and he dives right into Victor’s drama–maybe to gain some control?

We don’t see much of the people around them, besides a handful of friends and family. The book revolves around Ethan and Victor and the way their relationship evolves. That’s it. No real deeper meaning or theme. Maybe some clinical depiction of depression, but it’s more character development than theme. There’s also a subtle advocacy, but I won’t spoil anything.

The couple of narrators were perfect for their character, and perfect together. The voices they did for the other’s character were spot on, making the dual narration work great. They’ll make you feel for sure.

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Hold Me Under

Such a beautiful and emotional story that can be difficult to listen to at times so please take note of the trigger warnings.
I loved Victor and Ethan’s characters, they were written so convincingly and heartfelt.
Riley Nash left me broken and then built me up again with this sophisticated storyline.
I’m looking forward to the next book in the series.

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Heart wrenchingly heart warming

This is a tough story to listen to so please pay close attention to the trigger warnings.
Beautifully and tactically written. I loved every emotion possible through this story.
How people are perceive others peoples lives is not always the actual truth, reality is rarely what you think.
I liked the narrator’s voice and tone. He captured the emotions well.

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Beautiful slow burn enemies to lovers story

This book packs quite the emotional punch. An angsty slow burn enemies to lovers romance about two broken souls who find a safe harbour in each other. First up, this book touches on A LOT of trigger areas and dark themes which made the book a little difficult to get into, but that might be a personal problem and why I only gave 4.5 stars. Once I got over this I really enjoyed this book but definitely check out the trigger warnings before getting it.

Despite dark problems facing our two protagonists I soon found I was hooked by them and really started to care about the anxious, uptight Ethan and the bratty recluse Victor. There are multiple references by the characters to Fate and at it seems she has dealt them both terrible hands in their early lives.

In short, and hopefully spoiler free, Ethan is a young man struggling to look after his mother who has early onset dementia and had to give up his dreams of being a vet when his family cut them off due to a family tragedy. He has multiple jobs, main of which being a landscaper and one day is sent to the house of reclusive swimming prodigy Victor. Victor hasn't been seen for six years following the scandal of him failing his drugs test just before he was due to compete in the Olympics. One thing leads to another and Victor's controlling father makes Ethan an offer to come to Italy to pose as Victor's boyfriend for a campaign for a dating app he has acquired. Cue fake dating/close proximity between two guys who cannot stand each other but somehow have insane chemistry and watch the sparks fly.

The whole story is genuinely absorbing and while it touches on a lot of dark themes it keeps to just the right side of bleakness that it is not off-putting. It makes the happy scenes with Ethan and Victor as their relationship develops even more sweeter because of it. They have both known so little happiness at this point that their little "escapes" to their private world of two are irresistible when they come.

But when I say it is a slow burn, I'm not kidding, you have to wade through a lot of angst and hate first which these characters seem to crave because they are both damaged in their own ways that love is beyond their comprehension. The way to describe the pacing of this book is a bit like love itself. At first, very gradual and then of a sudden all at once. For that reason the ending felt a bit rushed to me, there were a lot of plot twists and threads that needed to be tied up rather quickly.

There are so many tender moments between these two as well, particularly when Ethan's protective side comes out and he tries to reach out to his damaged stray Victor. There is one scene in particular, a cab ride to the airport where I was just in tears. The connection of the characters in the intimate scenes was a lovely light in this one, the inpromptu movie night in their hotel room in particular, its all just beautiful. I would have loved there to have been more of these moments as they seem a bit sparse due to the angsty build up and rushed ending. But I still enjoyed it.

As for the audiobook, again why deny yourself when you have the fabulous acting talents of J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter to perform this for you. J.F. Harding has become one of my all time favourite narrators over the last few months. I can never wait to listen to one of his titles, his acting is absolute first class and he has an extraordinary ability to portray vulnerability that always has me hanging on his every word. He is able to expertly balance Victor's bratty arrogant behaviour with the troubled and traumatised boy underneath that you really HAVE to listen to this.

Opposite him, new to me narrator, Stephen Dexter does an equally excellent job with Ethan's POVs with his inner turmoil and pain and his struggle to come to terms with his feelings for Victor. With his deep rich voice he is also another pleasure to listen to. Seriously people, grab those earbuds and indulge.

I think the highest compliment I can pay this author is that she managed to hook me so much that I want to read the next one in the series and find out what happens next to other characters in this series.

An angsty, brooding hate/love intense lust with a side of Dom/Sub MM romance that will grab you by the feels but ultimately hang on in there for the cutest of HEA.

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Excellent story 👏👏👏

This was a beautiful and captivating love story and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The 3rd act drama hit really hard, I sobbed for a long time and was grateful it was followed by such a delightful HEA. The narration was perfection.

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Amazing story and narration!

I’m honestly still not even sure how to write this review because this book was so gut-wrenchingly emotional nothing I write in 5-10 sentences will be able to convey that properly. I’m sure part of that is from the incredible audiobook narration by Michael Gallagher &Theo Sinclair but I'm even more certain that it all stems from the raw and poetic writing from Riley Nash. This was my first Riley read and to say I am now a fan for life is a major understatement.

At its core, this book is the gritty, painful, and healing story of two broken souls, that have been failed over and over by the systems and people around them, who are thrust together via romance book tropes (fake relationship anyone), and find something beautiful together.

I loved every single second.

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